culturally.ambiguous

Intimidated by the French

2012-01-22T08:10:00.000-08:00

When I was 14, I decided to take the road-less-traveled (in SoCal, anyway) by choosing to study French instead of Spanish for my high school language requirements. And I chose to stick with it for 4 years, plus some...well, it continues to this day. However, learning French in a Spanish/English/Spanglish speaking area meant that I found it difficult to speak the language, difficult to become fluent, difficult to just not forget! But, 14 years after I started learning the language, I still have the goal of speaking French like a native.

Which is easier said than done - in either language! Through all the classes, through all the attempts, though, nothing was better for my comfortability than moving to Haiti - a country that speaks French (well...at least some of the population does). Last time I was here, my impatient nature translated into me not wanting to wait for the translator to translate my English into French when out in the field asking questions to our health clinic staff. So, I just started speaking! And speak I do!

With Haitians that is. For Haitians, French is their second language as well, so it is actually quite easy for me to converse with them, making mistakes, speaking like a 4-year old, and all. And they love it when I try to speak with them in French.

***

Short story - while shopping for paracetamol, conversing in French, Haitian man at the pharmacy asks if I am European. I say, No, I am American. He is shocked! But Americans don't speak French! Well, I do! And then he loves it. And starts speaking way too fast for my liking. But hey, he loved it.

***


Dad, Mom and Me in Paris. I attempted to translate for them.

But then, I go to an EU meeting, for a grant we are potentially interested in applying for. Which is all in French - this I can handle. I can understand the whole meeting; I know what questions I need to have answered. But - I don't ask.

You see, European French is much different than Haitian French. It's intimidating. Because I speak French like a 4-year old, because I am afraid to be judged, because my French is decidedly sub-par, I don't speak.

Even though, coming to Haiti has been the best thing for my French so far, there is still a lot of way for me to go.

I wish that there was just a switch for me to flick that would make me fluent.

Particularly because it would be very beneficial for work here. Actually, in my case, French is more beneficial than Kreole.

French tutor? French immersion course? Oui, s'il vous plait. Et vite, s'il vous plait.

Commémoration de Deux Années - un réponse

2012-01-12T08:13:00.000-08:00

Two years ago today, a cataclysmic earthquake struck Haiti.

And today, the media is overwhelmed with articles about what has and has not been done since the earthquake struck.

In response to the BBC's article entitled, "Haiti's tent cities signal long road to quake recovery" this is what I have to say.


Cemetary in the rural mountains outside of PaP. It dramatically increased in size post-earthquake.

As an aid worker based in Port-au-Prince, I have seen many of the disparitiesand struggles of the Haitian people over the last 2 years.

You are correct - there are still many people living incamps, and much work still needs to be done. There is still a massive lack ofaccess to good water and sanitation, a problem in a time of cholera, unemploymentis still rampant throughout the nation, stable homes are difficult to find.

But much has changed. Many people forget that 2010 was adifficult year for Haiti- more than just the earthquake at the beginning of the year. The rest of theyear included a cholera epidemic, a hurricane, political violence, followed bydifficulties in creating a functioning government.

Aid work does not happen overnight, particularly in acomplex context such as this. Prior to the earthquake, Haiti wasstruggling to get to its feet. If the international community was looking toget Haitiback to its status quo prior to the earthquake, you might be able to see allthe work that has been done in the last 2 years.

But the international community chose to 'Build Haiti BackBetter.' This takes time; this takes money; this takes stability. Two years isnot enough time to see this change; money promised has not been disbursed; 2010was not even close to being stable.

I was not in Haitifor a few months towards the end of 2011. When I left, cholera was still amajor concern, donors were taking their time in approving projects anddelivering money, and Haitistill did not have a Prime Minister.

When I returned, however, I found a different Haiti.Construction is happening everywhere; new businesses are being developed; thegovernment is proving to be stable, although, as with any government, there arestill many concerns. Initiatives are in place to assist those living in campsto move to more permanent homes. Haiti even decorated for Christmasthis year!

One cannot look at what has NOT been completed withoutlooking at what has, with the eye that development takes time. The US did notbecome what it is today in 2 years - no, it took hundreds of years! Why do weexpect change in Haitito take place in a minutia of the time?

Haitians are very impassioned individuals; they arededicated to their country and to building it back better, as is much of theinternational community. Instead of saying alarmist statements, such as walkinginto camps to see a man pointing a gun at another man's head, why can we notfocus on the fact that those living in the camps are committed to moving theirlives forward, to finding whatever work they can to earn enough to send theirchildren to school.

Change is happening in Haiti. President Martelly wascorrect in saying that yes, we want to move fast, but we also want to do itright. Please do not expect quality to happen overnight.

For those that are interested, I enjoyed reading these articles below.

The Guardian -

Haiti earthquake: two years on, and just half of promised aid has been delivered

The Miami Herald -

Many question whether Haiti quake donations were put to best use

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/01/09/2581629/many-question-whether-haiti-quake.html#storylink=cpy

A Part of Life

2012-01-07T12:13:00.000-08:00

Things in Haiti are...a little different. And for someone who grew up in the suburbs of Los Angeles with a clean freak of a mother, I find it interesting that these, below, are really just a part of life now.

Waking up to find that the flat is out of water. Usually discovered as one is flushing the toilet. Well, looks like a shower is not happening...
Oh, the office has rats! Well. Perhaps we should think about getting a cat.
Need draino, stat! I want a shower not a foot-bath!
Mice running beneath your feet at the mountain office? Meh. As long as they are not crawling up my leg.
And cockroaches as long as my pinkie? Well, I suppose now is as good a time as ever to get used to them.
Rice and beans for lunch. 5th time this week.
28 degrees C is definitely cardigan and scarf weather!
Dirty feet? Yep. Still. Do I ever have clean feet?
Aw, dang! The microwave doesn't work. Guess I just have to wait to eat until we move off the battery inverter...
Is that gunshots or fireworks? I'll just tell myself it's fireworks. It makes me feel better

But no matter how strange it is, I love life here.

To end, here is a photo of my room. I kinda like it. It's cozy. There is a closet to the left of the bed, and a table to the right of the fan. And that's it!

A Displaced Christmas

2011-12-25T10:32:00.000-08:00

A Haitian Christmas - Here

Today is Christmas and round the world, people are celebrating the birth of Jesus. Or maybe they are getting together to just drink a lot and share presents. Whatever their reason, a typical Christmas includes family, food, sharing, traditions and general merriment with people you care about.

But there are those of us who spend Christmas away from home, in a place that may be unfamiliar, with people who you have just met. This is my second Christmas of that sort. My second in a row.

Last year, my first Christmas away from home, was very difficult, because I had just arrived in Haiti, was living alone, and even though there were people around, it felt very lonely and unfamiliar. Also, Haiti was still in a time of shock - Christmas, a normally festive time of year, was quiet and somber. I decided at the end of last year that I did not want to have Christmas out of the country, away from people I love again.

But here I am, second year in a row, away from home, in an apartment by myself. But this year is very different. First of all, Haiti has its celebration back. There was a Christmas market in Place St. Pierre; fairy lights are on houses and stretched across the roads; Christmas eve resumed its normal night of craziness. But secondly, I learned a lot in 2011 (post on that likely to come), and one of the things I learned more about was how to adjust.

Just as when you get married, have children, you start forming your own family traditions outside of what you grew up with, so it is when you are away from home in a foreign land. This year I learned to adjust to that displacement, and to form my own traditions, as the grown-up woman I am.

Check out those choices!

On Christmas eve, I made an amazing meal for colleagues who were here as well, and we ended the night by dancing - as you do... But I woke up this morning with the intention to walk to church, worship with others, come home and relax and skype with my family, intermittent with watching Christmas movies (current choice: Home Alone!). Tonight, I will sleep early, and I will love it. Because Christmas does not always have to be about the hubub of merry-making. It can instead be about rest, relaxation, getting to spend quality time with friends and family, even if it is over the internet, and most importantly, celebrating the promise of Christ.

I plan to keep this tradition whenever I spend time in a foreign land away from family - eat lots of food, spend time with the people around, but of course, make sure to make plenty of time for conversations with people back home.

Just because one is alone does not mean one is lonely.

To all my friends and family spread throughout the world, I send you love and cheer on this Christmas day. I miss you and cannot wait for the next day I see you.

Religion and Human Rights: A Response

2011-12-21T16:39:00.000-08:00

This post is a response to Kate from Wronging Rights' post entitled: 'Trying to Think about Human Rights and Religion'

Source

As a Christian and student of Human Rights, religion and human rights is actually something that I have thought about a lot, more specifically on the linkages between human rights and religion and how we can use religiosity in favour and as a complement to human rights.

At the beginning of my studies, the first thing we discussed was the philosophy and history of human rights. In our lecture, our professor repeatedly said that as human rights activists, we need to be able to convince others that human rights exist and why they should believe in and uphold the rights themselves (which now, come to think of it, sounds exactly like proselytism).

I am also an aid worker, so throughout all of this, I was interested in being able to communicate the importance of human rights in emergency responses. But going to someone in Haiti or Kenya or Afghanistan and telling them, well, John Locke said this, and Rousseau said this, so logically you see, there is a natural law surrounding human rights, nd this is why you should believe in them and this is what you should do to uphold them, and what your government is responsible for as a duty-bearer just sounds difficult. How do you thrust the thoughts and opinions of Europeans and Americans onto those who are not, and convince them that this is what they should believe. Yes, this is where the neo-colonialism aspect comes in.

In her article, Kate referenced the story about the success of the Tostan campaign against FGM in Senegal, which is a UN-led campaign that "seeks to build consensus, African-style, on the dangers of the practice, while being careful not to denounce it as barbaric as Western activists have been prone to do." They link with local women and men to train on health and human rights issues in the locally-approved way. The main starting point, though, included - interestingly enough - meeting with the village chiefs and imams to convince them that in Islam there was no religious requirement for cutting. The practice, in fact, pre-dates Islam by centuries!This process worked. By having the support of the religious leaders in the community, they were able to move to a community-based, human rights-based campaign and training programme to end FGM.

This example shows that by using 'localisation' tactics, as coined by Kate, there is actually a better opportunity to work with the local culture and context to bring different cultures, communities, and governments to an agreement around supporting human rights. Where is much of this work needed? The developing world. And, as noted by many, the most religious people in the world can also be found in the places where some of the most atrocious human rights abuses exist.

The Tostan campaign is just an example of how human rights and religion should work together to actually change in a locally-based, community-owned way.

Now, I am not saying that I have all the answers to linking human rights with religion (especially when you throw into it the ideologies of all the varieties religion can take - fundamentalist to liberal), but while I was a student and we were looking for the philosophical base behind human rights in order to convince those who's rights have been abused or those who have the duty to uphold rights, I never felt satisfied with the answer. One of the principles I commit my work to, is to always consider the local context, to refer to local staff and customs and of course to collaborate with communities. Human rights should not be discluded from this. Neither should ignoring the religious viewpoints of those we are trying to help.

Perhaps religion actually is the answer, the logic, behind human rights. We need to not be so scared to explore what religion can bring to human rights because we in the Euro/Aus/American world are so afraid of church and politics. It might just be the winning argument to change.

*I am sure I will develop more thoughts on this topic as time passes. This is just my preliminary dump.

With Just A Little Time

2011-12-14T16:27:00.000-08:00

Five months ago, I left Haiti, after 6 months of rediculousity. Of course, I know that is not a word, but my word for Haiti, the entire time I was there was "rediculous." Because it was. Something new happened in Haiti every day. And I loved it... earthquakes, rains, cholera, hurricanes, political violence, corruption, ex-dictators returning to the country. We had it all. And had to adjust accordingly.

So it was no wonder that the media criticised all the UN agencies and NGOs here for being slow (as discussed by a fellow blogger here and here and many other places on his blog). How can you be quick when the situation changes every week, sometimes every day???

Well, as I said, 5 months ago I left Haiti. And when I left, it was still a mess. Cholera was rampant, we were coming into what was promised to be a banner of a hurricane season, there was no prime minister, and no one knew what would happen with MINUSTAH (UN peacekeeping service here), kidnappings were increasing.

But coming back now, I am impressed. I love walking / driving around the town to see all the changes. Because there are many. There is a fountain at Place St. Pierre (no water of course), and there is no longer a camp in the park (which also begs the question of what happened to all those people...). More businesses are open, construction is happening EVERYWHERE! But it seems to be organised construction! Not just people tearing at old buildings, or digging holes. Things are going up! Even the trees seem more bushy! Electricity is more stable; last night I was up the mountain and you could actually see the whole of Port-au-Prince valley's lights!

And let me get started about the streets! All the potholes I remember have been filled up and smoothed over, not just with dirt, but with actual asphalt too! Many of the roads are wider now too! Its actually a pleasure to drive (not that the driving rules have changed at all). But even traffic seems much less now!

As we are full and into the Christmas season now, there are Christmas lights hanging and trees in certain shops. I came home this evening to see our guards had decorated (including a horribly annoying Christmas song that is playing an unrecognisable tune in unrecognisable, squeaky notes...but hey, they tried).

Reading through the latest OCHA SitRep, the situation is less urgent and stressed (although there are still lots of people in tents who are threatened to be evicted), the cholera epidemic is calming down into a nice disease that will resurge every rainy season, there were no hurricanes this last season (although there were monsoonal rains), and hey, there is even excess food around (not that food prices reflect that)!

Of course, there is still lots of work to be done. Lots and lots, which is reflected in the amount of work I have to do. But these last 5 months were the most stable that Haiti has had in the last 2 years. And its amazing the difference a little stability can make. In some cases, it is unrecognisable.

Reunited, and It Feels So Good

2011-12-10T05:38:00.001-08:00

Well, I have arrived in Port-au-Prince.

I am just so happy to be here!

In the last 24 hours or so, I have:
- had a Christmas party with lots of Haitian food, and Christmas goodies.
- received an awesome Christmas gift of a traditional Haitian arts and crafts souvenir
- moved into my new flat, and I love it. I am not super thrilled that my room is on the sunny side (its not as cool), but I will adjust. Hey, I have curtins and a/c
- felt all the lovely changes of the humidity and dirt. Dirty feet, sweaty skin, hair that is a little more monstrous (and not that it ever is), and skin that glows because it is full of health and sun!
- been recognised by people who didn't know I was back. 2 people actually!
- went shopping. bought stuff for the house to make it just that much more homey
- talked security and work with my new manager (who is so far, so awesome!)
- given myself a lovely list of to do items to conquer this job
- took pictures of the hills and valley from my roof
- made a hatian woman laugh, because I was up on the roof and she was looking at what I was doing from the street. So I waved. She laughed and waved back.
- researched potential Christmas holiday treats for myself and my family

And in the rest of tonight, I am off to dinner with a view, and once I finally receive my phone, to make lots of phone calls to long lost voices.

I am so glad to be here.

Haiti Theme Song: Rihanna

2011-11-27T12:00:00.000-08:00

My first time in Haiti was both challenging and addicting. I felt as if my theme song was this:

As I head back to this difficult context, I plan on it being:

I never liked Rihanna until Haiti.

Consequences

2011-11-21T22:05:00.001-08:00

P/C: Shine Phinao

Every action has its consequences. Good or Bad. Sometimes you treasure them; sometimes you regret them.

When I was 18 years old, I chose to attend a conservative Christian university to continue my education. There are many reasons why I chose the school, but I must admit, my attendance led to many frustrations. Frustrations with the institution, with its beliefs, with its policies, with the education received.

There are many moments where I have wondered, "knowing what I know now, with all its frustrations, would I do it all again?" Sometimes, I have responded "NO!" wishing I had considered all the options and chosen a different course; thinking that I would have been happier.

But then I realise - no matter how frustrated I was, no matter how non-prestigious my university was, it led me to some really awesome people.

People I am proud to call some of my best, and longest, friends. People who share like mind-sets and worldviews, who love and can be loved, who bring joy and laughter. Who, no matter where we are in the world, or how long we have been apart, we can pick right back up where we left off.

When I think about this unintended consequence, I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

Redefining Home

2011-11-18T15:06:00.001-08:00

A few months ago, I wrote about my life in boxes and questioned where home was for me. My conclusion, somewhat, was that "my home has to be wherever I am."

I am retracting this conclusion for another...who says you only have to have one home?

In that post, I examined the three options I felt I had to call home - LA, London, and Haiti. At the time, none felt like home - I think because I was looking at the "typical" definition of a home. According to my favourite dictionary.com, the first definition for home is "the usual residence of a person," which was how I was defining what home is.

But if you look further down the list, home can also be defined as an idiom: "in a situation familiar to one; at ease." Now this definition is more relevant to the life of an expat, and the life of a traveler. We have many places that we are at ease; many locations in which we are familiar; loved ones in these homes that make it such.

In this case, then I have more than one place to call home, more than one situation with which I am familiar. Three at this point in life, although I am sure this number will increase.

And it is with excitement and anticipation that I am able to share that I am leaving one home to return to the second via the third.

In more clear terms, I am leaving Los Angeles to return to Haiti. I have been offered a position with a British organisation, and therefore will be returning to London for 2 weeks of orientation (27 Nov - 8 Dec), before heading to my beloved Port-au-Prince (9 Dec).

According to my dad, I live my life atypically - by this point, he expects nothing less. So then, it is only expected that my home is not according to the typical definition. To these "familiar situations" then, I will be glad to be welcomed home, not once but twice.

LA, a la prochaine

Bon Retour, Haiti

Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic

2011-10-29T17:42:00.000-07:00

Or:

a road under water and monsoonal rains will not stop a good time

In June of this year, I took advantage of living on the island of Hispaniola by visiting the other country on this small, Caribbean paradise - the Dominican Republic. Obviously, this decision was augmented by the fact that I have had multiple friends live in and fall in love with this Spanish-speaking nation - I mean - I had to go.

I decided to head for Santo Domingo, as I had heard very good things about it, and did not want to chance having rainy weather at the beach. I hear there are some absolutely gorgeous beaches in the DR though. Next time around...

getting there:

super small planes for the super small airport.

Since I was living on the same island as the Republic, I decided to travel there a bit unconventionally - by road there and by plane back. I loved doing this, as it allowed me to experience the gorgeous jungle-y scenery of the island, while allowing the maximum time to adventure in the city.

A word of warning, should you decide to travel this route - the road is notoriously bad and unpredictable. Oftentimes, vehicles cannot get through and/or get stuck. We happened to plan our trip during rainy season, which allowed us the fun (and a little stressful) experience of driving through the lake, which had flooded the road. I am amazed our little vehicle made it through. But an adventure it was!

There are also buses to take from Port-au-Prince and other areas of the DR, as well as 2 airports to service your needs. I flew out of the smaller one, as I was just making a short hop. Do not be surprised to have to pay an airport tax in cash upon arrival. And if you do decide to make the short hop over to the other side of the island, also do not be surprised to have hand-written boarding passes and no computer to register your payment. Some of the airlines have yet to enter the computer age - as much charming as it is strange.

to stay / get around:I ended up staying more in central Santo Domingo, which was not super convenient for doing what I wanted to do. But it was cheap. And close to a Taco Bell, which, after almost 2 years away from the US, was a HUGE plus in my book.

just off the Malecon - not much of a beach,
but still with Caribbean views

On the other hand, I would recommend staying in an area close to Zona Colonial, which will likely be where you will want to spend your time wandering. There are plenty of hotels and B&Bs to choose from on Avenida George Washington (also known as the Malecon) and Avenida Independencia. A search on your favourite travel site should find you some great options ranging from as little as $20 per night for a homey B&B to upwards of $175 for a more ritzy hotel.

Should you choose to stay on one of these roads, getting around will be very simple. Santo Domingo is a very walk-able city, with lots to see and experience. And for times when your feet are just too tired to take another step, taxis are plentiful and cheap. My experiences with them proved them to be very knowledgeable of the city and willing to hand you their cards should you want to hire them for further services. Don't expect much English though.

As with all travel (and arguably with life), be aware of your situation, whether it is walking around, in a taxi, or at your hotel. I had no bad experiences myself, but that does not mean that all tourists are left alone...

to see:
Contrary to the belief of the average American, the New World did not begin in the good ol' US of A. Au contraire, mes amis, Santo Domingo boasts being the oldest European city in the Americas, founded by the Columbus family, whose influence can still be seen throughout the city.

This is most notable in the Zona Colonial, where one can find:
- Calle Las Damas: the Oldest European Street in the Americans
- Fortaleza Ozama
- Alcazar de Colon: the former residence of the Columbus family, now a museum

Me and the Alcazar de Colon!

- Panteon Nacional
- Ruinas de San Francisco

The river of water emerging from the
Ruinas de San Francisco

- Iglesia Regina Angelorum
- Catedral Primada de America

The gorgeous Catedral Primada de America

- La Puerta del Conde or Puerta de la Independencia, which leads from a major shopping street to the plaza where the DR proclaimed its independence.
- Altar de la Patria, which houses the remains of the DR's founders
- And lots of other beautiful pieces of the Americas' history.

Ruinas de la Iglesia y Hospital San Nicolas de Bari

I highly recommend just taking your time and exploring Zona Colonial. You never know what you will find.

Should you desire, there are tour guides available to explain the history of the area. Of course there is a small fee (negotiable). Beware, though - they may try and force themselves on you. At this point, I was touring alone and had not done enough research, so I welcomed the information from my friendly tour guide. He offered to take me around the city, which I didn't have time for, but walked with me as I finished my visit around the Zona Colonial. I learned much more than I would have if I had been by myself, including information about the Dominican crest, the first sundial, and the Columbus family. But it's up to you... (I think my guide was also excited to do something - there were not a lot of tourists around in the monsoon I found myself in.)

Take note: most museums and indoor experiences are closed on Sundays, much to my detriment. If you plan your visit to the Zona Colonial better than I did, you will get to experience the magnificent finds in this historic city.

don't forget:

to enjoy Dominican life through observation.

There are lots of lovely plazas and parks to just sit and relax with a book and a Presidente, watching life pass by. Don't forget this integral part of your cultural experience! Recommendations include: Parque Colon, El Parque Independencia, or Plaza de Espana.

Parque Colon: a place for pigeons and people watching

to dance the night away.

Music and dance flood the streets of Santo Domingo. While the DR's national dance is the merengue, latin / haitian-based rhythms can be found at most clubs, including salsa, bachata, and kompa. Clubs playing other types of music can be found, but don't miss this opportunity to move your body to the Dominican beat.

And don't be surprised to find live bands playing on any old street corner or plaza. Enjoy! This is the Caribbean!

to indulge in some Mamajuana

No, I am not talking about the well-known plant. Mamajuana is a traditional Dominican drink, which infuses Dominican rum, red wine, honey and locally-sourced bark and herbs to produce a sweet-tasting potable with medicinal properties. It is said to aid digestion and circulation, cleanse blood, livers and kidneys, and cure the flu. And for those who are interested, it is also known to be an aphrodisiac with Viagra-like properties.

The 5 Most Interesting Ways...

2011-10-25T18:03:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to write this for a long time - just never got around to it. But today, I decided, is the day to write the story of my last week in Haiti. Because it's a good'un.

I believe I said over and over again (verbally, if not in written form) that Haiti is crazy. (in the best way possible, of course). Crazy in that every day something new happens. Sometimes it was scary; sometimes it was random; sometimes it was just plain AWESOME!!!! Well, my last week in this ever-changing country is just an example. One that sums up the entire experience. So...here it goes.

THE 5 MOST INTERESTING WAY A COUNTRY CAN TELL YOU GOODBYE!

1. You get pickpocketed. (I'ts only $15 - not the end of the world. And definitely not worth fighting over, mi amigo)

Back up the river. We wanted to go home too...

2. On the way to the beach, the bridge is out. So, you have to drive down into the river, down stream until you get to the beach, drive along the beach (tires in the waves), through a jungle, and then have to pay to exit the land to get back on the road.

3. A streetchild attempts to steal your purse. Attempts, being the operative word. As in, you fought back, got the purse, cursed after him, then climbed into the car as if nothing happened.

4. There is an earthquake. Being a Californian, this is no big deal. But Haitians are still scared to death of them. (Rightly so, of course - you never know if the building will come crashing down around you).

5. You are forced to leave the country within 24 hours of your contract ending, regardless of the fact that you and the HR representative signed a document saying you had 30 days to relocate and repatriate. HUH?!?!!?

ahhhh. this is the way to travel.
*both photos from a colleagues Facebook. Hey, I was driving.
Down a river - and you expect me to take photos too?

Yes - those all happened in 1 week! Surrounded by other interesting experiences, such as goodbye lunches, dinners, dances, and finalising all my last bits of work.

I am not sure if Haiti was telling me that it did not want me to go, or if it was telling me to get the hell out. But no matter what, it stuck with me.

Haiti, I miss you and your unpredictability. Do you miss me too?

Figs

2011-10-07T16:49:00.000-07:00

When I was living in Pasadena a few years ago, I had a fig tree that hung over my balcony. It was intermixed with a Jacaranda tree that bloomed lovely purple flowers every spring.

This sounds amazing, right? Beauty every spring, and fresh fruit every summer? To me though, it was annoying. The purple flowers would fall on the balcony and litter the ground with slippery, dried up, dead flowers. It was a terror to clean. The fig tree, on the other hand, went unappreciated. I am not a big fan of figs.

Literally or figuratively.

You see, in my life, it seems like every choice, as so eloquently put by Sylvia Plath, is a fig. But if I choose one, I cannot have the others. They will just wilt and die.

Every woman has this choice. It is particularly strong in the humanitarian field. It is very rare to find a woman who has spent the majority of her life in the field, who is married with children. In fact, the great majority of people in the humanitarian sector are either single, or divorced.

So what is the most important? What is your priority?

This question - which fig to choose - and even, do I have to choose a fig - are thoughts that regularly fill my mind.

I only hope I choose one and am happy with my decision before they all fall, rotten, to the ground.

The Big Picture

2011-09-19T16:32:00.000-07:00

The Big Picture - Griffith Observatory

Looking up, I, with tear-dimmed eyes, saw the mighty Milky-way. Remembering what it was - what countless systems there swept space like a soft trace of light - I felt the might and strength of God. Sure was I of His efficiency to save what He had made: convinced I grew that neither earth should perish, nor one of the souls it treasured.
- Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte

Look at that smog! You can barely see the Hollywood sign!

Last week, I decided to get out of the house and get some culture. So, I drove myself out to the Griffith Observatory, which is free and in the amazing Griffith Park in the view of the Hollywood sign. Before entering the observatory, I took a stroll in the park and watched the sunset over that infamous monument. The park was peaceful, as I took time to breathe in the lovely California smog and think about life - trying not to stress about it is more like it.

One of the things about being "in between contracts" is that it gives one a lot of time to think, aka get discouraged and worry about what is next and when it's going to come about. Some days, I am able to be positive. Some days, positivity is just not possible. Most days, it is about just focusing on the here and now.

My visit to the observatory was one of those days. Just trying to enjoy the present and trust that better times are to come. One of the exhibits actually really brought this point home for me, and it keeps being brought back to my attention.

They have this amazing exhibit called "The Big Picture". What it is, (pictured above) is essentially a big picture of space - of stars, galaxies, and the universe. Yes, it is awesome to look at as you walk around a room exploring space. As described on the website, the photo shows just a tiny slice of the universe - about the amount of sky that your index finger would cover if you held it about a foot away from your eyes. Viewed through the telescope that took this picture, there are over one-and-a-half million visible stars, galaxies and other celestial objects! And that is just what 1 index finger covers!

In one of the videos about the photo, it showed the scale of the stars and galaxies seen. Now, anyone who has been to an observatory or taken an astronomy class knows that the light from stars that we see here on earth is "in the past" - that is that the light that the star gave off had to travel so many billions of light years to get to us here on earth. And that takes time. So, essentially the light that we are seeing was emitted from the star in the past. But we are seeing it in the present - we are looking through time into the past! What a crazy concept right?!

But what really got me was the depth of space video. It showed the depth and scale of the sliver of space we were viewing in the Big Picture. From this video, you could see just how small and tiny we were in the scale and depth of the universe. And how what we can see in space is just a minutiae of what exists.

How do you see stars with all that light / smog pollution!?!

It got me thinking. There is a bigger picture out there. As that quote from Jane Eyre (read just this morning!) emphasises - we are so small in the grand scheme of things, in the big picture of the universe. But just as God neither prevents the universe from imploding, so will he protect us and implement his plan for us. But, just as we view the light from stars that radiated out of it billions of years ago, when life is rendered, when we see the light, will be at the right time for us.

I didn't mean for this to get all spiritual or contemplative on you, but when the Big Picture is put in front of your eyes, you really start to put into perspective all the time spent worrying about your own small slice of the universe.

5 Stages

2011-09-13T21:19:00.001-07:00

It has been a long time since I have written. 4 months to be more specific. I have tried to write. I have so many blogs I have started and then deleted, started and couldn't finish, wrote in my head. But I didn't understand why I couldn't just get it out there.

Recently, though, I have been beginning to feel like I could again. Write blogs, live life, get back out there. I began to feel good.

I have been back in Southern California for 2.5 months now. My contract in Haiti ended in June, and I had no other option to come back to LA - I was literally kicked out of the country (another story for another day). And I was broken, emotional and at the bottom. It took a long time and a lot of patience to heal. But I have - mostly (sometimes what happens still haunts me...literally. Last night I dreamed I was yelling and swearing at a former colleague). At least to the point where I can deal with it in a healthy manner - while awake at least haha.
The other day, I was reading something that mentioned the 5 stages of grief. This struck me, because while I am not mourning the loss of an individual, I was losing. I was losing a situation and losing myself in it. And with that came all 5 of these stages.

Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after loss.
Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy.
Bargaining — "I'll do anything for a few more ..."; "I will give my life savings if..."
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay loss. Usually, the negotiation is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will lose, but if I could just do something to buy more time..."
Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "It's going to end soon so whats the point... What's the point?"
During the fourth stage, the losing person begins to understand the certainty of the loss. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with her/his loss or tragic event.

Some happened while I was still in Haiti, some happened here. And I will not be explaining everything that happened. But I experienced all these emotions. It was difficult. Some days it was hard to get out of bed. Some days I thought my life was over. Some days I was angry. Some days I fought to stay afloat. Some days I drowned. Some days it affected others in my life more than I wish it would have.

But I am back. And I will be better than before. Haiti broke me; Haiti taught me. But I know I will be better because of it.

I am on my way to beauty.

From the Originator of the 5 Stages of Grief

Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road

2011-04-30T11:23:00.002-07:00

Here in Haiti, we drive on the right side of the road - as in the US. And you would have to be living under a rock to not know that in the UK they drive on the opposite side of the road.

While I was living in the UK, I drove on quite a few occasions. I have to tell you, the first time that I drove in the UK on the opposite side in a small, manual car, I was nervous. How would I do? Would I be able to stay in my lane? What about those crazy roundabouts? Would I hit someone!?!? (actually happened while I was a passenger with a person unfamiliar with driving on the opposite side.) But I took to it like a fish to water.

I must admit though. I am not as comfortable with driving on the left side of the road as I am on the right side. When I am driving on the right side, I relax. It is like second nature for me. I don't have to concentrate so hard on making sure I stay in the lanes; my reaction time is much quicker. It is "home" for me.

This does not meant that I do not enjoy driving on the opposite side of the road. Rather, I find it very enjoying, even if I am not as comfortable or feel a little out of place. It is a bit of a challenge, one which I relish and look forward to becoming fluent in.

The BF (who learned to drive on the left side of the road) with our weeny rental car in Scotland.
We shared driving on the left-hand side of the road.

I was talking to the BF this morning and realised that this is an analogy for my personal interactions with cultures. Living and working here in Haiti, with a plethora of different cultures and nationalities represented, I have been able to get to know, love and hang out with people from all over the globe.

I love it. I am able to learn so much about people and places that are unfamiliar to me ("how are you" in Sierra Leonean Krio, growing up in 1-room houses in South Asia, the politics of washing your dog in Uganda, the proper way to have a dinner party in Lebanon). But while all of this is interesting and great to learn / discuss / hypothesise about future visits to these locations, I often feel unable to contribute to the conversation and there is a small part of me that feels out of place.

Last night, I went out to dinner with some American and Australian colleagues. And it was good. We laughed, talked the politics of vegemite / marmite, debated on the best water-saving technique, and reminisced about family pets. It was easy. It fit.

For me, hanging out with US / Oz / Western individuals is like driving on the right side of the road. It's second nature. I don't have to think about it.

Spending time with those from non-Western cultures is different. It doesn't fit. I am not as comfortable. But I still revel in it.

And just as with driving on the left-hand side of the road, I look forward to the day when there is no difference between Western and Non-Western to me. Just friends, colleagues and sharing life experiences.

I never thought I would be so excited...

2011-04-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

to be HOME!!!

*stolen online

Los Angeles - this is what I plan on enjoying while I am here:

Mom and Dad
Friends
Skyping with friends from a similar time-zone
Time to reflect
Blueberries and Bananas for breakfast (currently in the mouth)
Target
Forever 21
Victoria's Secret
Hiking in the Hills
Mexican Food
In 'n Out
Watching trashy TV while working...
Weighing myself (actually am... as I have not weighed myself in 16 months!!!)

A short, but sweet visit. Wow, am I glad to be here...

An Open Letter...

2011-04-20T22:32:00.000-07:00

"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends."

Dear Best Friends,

I just wanted to tell you all something - I miss you. I miss our laughs; I miss our tears; I miss our moments that we were so frustrated by at the time that are now one of our most cherished moments (Big Sur?); I miss our inside jokes (sword?); I miss our dances (82?); I miss our paintings; I miss our breakfasts, lunches and dinners together; I miss our drinks; I miss our crazies; I miss everything that we had.

Haiti is teaching me a lot. It is teaching me a lot about work; it is teaching me a lot about humanitarianism. Most of all though, it is teaching me about friendship and relationships and what it means to find people who you are able to be yourself with - support you, frustrate you, encourage you, and most of all who love you unconditionally. People like you are not easy to find.

People like you remind me that there is life outside of here, and that even if things are difficult here that there are people like you in the world who I can not see for years, and then pick up with as if we had never left.

You are always in my heart. And until I see you again, know that I love you. And that in you, I find strength. In you, I find courage. In you, I remember how to love.

You are everything to me.

For all of you, from New Zealand to Australia to Singapore to India to Italy to the UK to the US to whatever country you are heading to next, I love you.

And I will always be there for you when you need.

Forever,
Ang

The Waiting Game...

2011-04-16T11:35:00.000-07:00

*I wrote this yesterday by hand while I was sitting around waiting for IT to finish working on my computer. For the entire day. I hate waiting. Patience is not my virtue...

I must admit... this week has been - as I told my manager the other day - well...boring.

Which may sound weird coming from last week where I was raving about my work and expressing my frustrations about having to postpone again.

Well, this week, the waiting has continued, and there are still no guarantees.

Granted, I have not been sitting around doing nothing... Oh no. The long hours have continued; the work has not ended. Rather, I am picking up small projects, doing what needs to be done, and at slower moments, reading documents that are good to learn from.

But, the "waiting game" is really not very fun... you see - my job now within WV is as a DME Officer. My JD, while it includes a variety of tasks, focuses mostly on the organisation, facilitation and follow-up of a baseline assessment.

For those non-social scientists out there (Mom & Dad), a baseline assessment is...well...an assessment, or survey, that measures the current status of a problem - in this case, the knowledges, attitudes and practices around cholera - at the beginning of a programme / project in order to be able to measure the full impact of the project at the end of it.

Now, the reason I am playing the excruciating waiting game, maintenant, is because the project I will be establishing the baseline for is taking forever. FOR-EV-VER! (in classic Sandlot expressions). Literally, months.

You see, the contract between us and the donor has to be signed before I can begin the assessment. Of course, we have to have the guarantee that the money will be there for the project we are establishing before we can actually begin activities. You can't pay for something without money, right?

And so, we wait. We wait for the IFI donor to look through our project plan and make sure all the documents are in order. We wait for the government agency partner to talk to the IFI to make sure what needs to be shared is shared. We wait for the other organisations we are working with to ensure that they are ready to move forward with the project as well.

This raises one of the biggest frustrations any NGO worker has in responding to emergencies - everything boils down to the money; everything boils down to the grant.

The grant is what defines the project; the donor is the one you have to report to because they want to know that their money is being used effectively; all activities have to fall specifically under the remit and within the specific time-period of the grant, otherwise you can't charge the activity against the available funds; you have to ensure that all the money is spent within the agreed upon time period, otherwise you have to give the money back and your relationship with the donor and potential for future partnerships will suffer.

Geez. It sounds like the donor holds all the power here, doesn't it? Including, at this point, my schedule and feelings of being bored / feeling useful.

I suspect that as I become more and more well-versed in grants, donors, projects and my job, I will be writing more and more about my frustrations with the system. Consider yourself warned.

Expectations Fail.

2011-04-09T09:39:00.000-07:00

Well, it has been 2 weeks since I re-arrived in country. And what a 2 weeks they have been. Sometimes I wish I could write a book about my experiences here, just as they are. No hiding, straight talking, maybe even venting a little. People would not believe it. Drama.

These last 2 weeks have just added to this desire. But I have to preface this statement -

I love my new job. Seriously. This is the first time in years that I have really loved it. I am growing so much, it challenges me everyday, I learn something (s) new everyday. And I love the DME team.

So after that caveat, let me tell you this - I am FRUSTRATED!!!

I am here to manage a baseline assessment. Pretty much what that means is that there is a new project coming for the cholera response and we want to know what the current situation is in order to measure how the project changes the situation at the end. By managing this, I have spent the last 2 weeks creating lots of documents, hiring enumerators (people conducting the survey on the ground), working with the budget, creating the plan, organising training, and in general making sure everything is in order for both the training AND the data collection.

Yesterday, I made the informed decision to postpone the training. Again. For the 2nd time. This is the 3rd reschedule. And we do not know when we will start now. But because of this, we will have to call all the enumerators today to let them know, promising them that we want them, but we cannot tell them when they will work - and work is hard to come by here. I feel TERRIBLE about this. I do not like promising something and then having to go back on it, particularly when its affects people. I do not care about adjusting my schedule...yet again (ok, I am frustrated, but I will get over it).

We went through such a process to hire these enumerators. First, we posted the job descriptions on university campuses here (students are always eager to work, have flexible schedules, and are a great investment). We received over 400 applicants. So, we had to go through them. We then had about 125 come this week for a test on their critical thinking skills. And let me tell you, that was a lot to organise. And then, we had to grade them. I felt like a teacher.

Overall, we had about 50 out of 400 that we will want to work with on various assessments. Grading the papers, I was struck with an interesting fact about Haitian students. One thing we always joke about here is how slow Haiti is. We gave the students 30 minutes to finish the test - one which would have taken myself and my colleague about 15min to complete. I was shocked by the amount of people who were not able to complete even half of the test in 30 minutes. And I am saddened that out of 400, we were able to gather about 50 for our needs.

I do not want to comment about the Haitian workforce. Work is hard to come by here and everyone wants a job. With these 50 individuals, I hope that I can help them on that path.

So after grading the tests, we called all the people that we wanted to let them know to come on Monday for training. Now, we have to change because the contract is not signed and we cannot spend money before its there (an obviously good practice). The signing of the contract is completely out of my control, so now I just have to wait. And patience is not one of my virtues...yet...

At least this gives me opportunities to work on other things. But oh the frustrations of expectations not being lived up to - for myself and for all our enumerators!

In another note, last weekend, I drove up the mountain to spend a pleasant day with my friend and colleague, A. Here are some of the GORGEOUS photos (and lots of adorable puppies - maybe to become one of our own???).

Gunshots and Shouting

2011-04-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

*started writing this on Monday night...never finished it, but wanted to post it anyway. sorry*

Tonight in Haiti, I heard many gunshots and lots of shouting. But it was not what you think. There were no riots and no fights. No, it was the noise of a people who are happy. Excited that the man they wanted was just announced as the likely new candidate of Haiti. A singer, a man with no experience. A man who wants change. A man who makes promises.

I do not know what to think about this. The Haitians on the street are happy. But who knows if this will be good for the country.

Sweet Micky Martelly,
the Carnival singer in one of his more pensive moments...

One thing to be proud of - Haiti has a democratically elected president. And even though I question how he will lead this country, the people have spoken.

Sweet Micky, I hope you will be able to lead Haiti to somewhere new and better. This is what I want for this country.

And if the Fugees do play at your inauguration party, can I have tickets?

Back to Reality

2011-03-24T18:37:00.000-07:00

Well, once again I am here. In a New York Airport Hotel. Thankfully, NOT stuck this time...as far as I am aware of...yet. I am, once again, on my way to Haiti - this time knowing a bit more what to expect, knowing the people that are there, and being really excited for the challenge that lies ahead.

But before all that happens, I thought I would give a quick update of the last 2 and a half weeks...which were awesome!

My arrival into the UK was marked with the surrealism, somewhat hinted at in the last post, of having been gone for 3 months and returning to a place I loved, but was not expecting to see for a while. You might even say I had a minor identity crisis...but only minor. Being surrounded by people I loved and a home that I knew made me able to adjust back in within days.

And what days those were - days of surprised faces, exclamations, the Lion King in the West End, visits with professors, drinks on the river Thames, and dinners with the flatmates. Oh, and shopping. Can't forget that essential item.

The highlight of my trip though - barring the BF and our London fam - was a trip to the Scottish Highlands in the second week. I am not exaggerating when I place the Highlands at an 8 on a scale of 10. Mountains, lochs, snow, rivers, sea, waterfalls, sheep, highland cattle, remote islands, whisky, castles, pubs, and great company - all words that describe this trip. But I will let some of the photos do the talking.

Loch Ness

What I Call: Mirror Lake

What a View!

Not a Soul in Sight!

Seaside Village

Scottish Highlands are highly recommended. And it was great and much needed to spend some time with just the BF.

I came back from Scotland, super excited and ready to get back to Haiti. But I still did not have flights booked. Ha! Well, it actually worked out best. The BF, who is moving back to Oz via a 5-day visit to LA, left the same day - same airline, same terminal. And our flights were within 10 minutes of each other! While that just prolonged the teary goodbyes, at least we were able to spend our last few days, full of friends, laughter and drinks, up to the last few moments together. It will be about 4 months before I see him next and this is going to be difficult and long. TGFS - Thank God for Skype!

Before I get lost in my contemplation of the end of my London era, and a return to reality, I need to head to bed. But before I go, I just want to put out how thankful I am for my family in the UK and for all the times we had together. See you in Oz, dear friends!

Life in Boxes

2011-03-21T07:55:00.000-07:00

Upon my arrival to the UK, I was excited and nervous and just so happy to be "home". Until I filled out the customs form. At that point, I was struck with a fact. When the customs form asked me what my country of residence was, I realised that at that point I was "homeless". None of the normal options for a home fit. Let me consider them:

1) Haiti: You see, as I did not have a signed contract in Haiti, I had to pack as if I was leaving. So I brought everything with me. As I was not confirmed to return, I could not consider Haiti to be my home, even though once my contract is signed, then it can be. However, because of this uncertainty, Haiti could not be considered my home.

2) London: London was my home once. And I still consider it a place I love. However, I do not live there any more, even though I have friends to call family and a house to call home. According to my visa, which allowed me to live and work in London before, I am no longer eligible for that. While there are visa options that I can pursue, at this point, calling London home is not an option.

3) Los Angeles: While LA will always be a 'home' because my parents live there, I have no desire to have the city be my permanent abode. So, even though my 'permanent address' is there, I do not feel right calling it my home, since I do not live there, have not been there in over a year and will not be living there in any sort of long-term capacity in the near future (or perhaps ever).

For me, my home has to be wherever I am. I know I will never be 'homeless' but when I actually had to think about what my country of residence was (I ended up putting the US), I realised how compartmentalised the life of an expat aid worker can be.

Life exists in 2 places for us. Where we are physically and then everywhere else. Relationships develop in the country we are working with, dramas happen, stress exists, fun and friendship takes place. But then there are all the relationships that existed before we moved that need cultivating, stories that will be with us forever, skype dates that need to take place.

One of the things I have realised through all this is that what exists in one "box" should not become the be all and end all of life. Responses will end, job contracts will finish, people will move. But its the relationships that are kept up-to-date that will be the saving grace through all this.

I have been particularly terrible at cultivating my friendships outside of wherever I am physically. This is something I know I need to work on, and is something that I hope I will change over the coming weeks once I return to Haiti. The life of an expat does consist of boxes - and I need to make sure that all of my boxes are full :)

30-minute Haiti...

2011-03-10T05:24:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I went back to uni to visit my old professors for a catch-up. It was lovely. While I was there, though, I agreed to come back today and talk to this year's MA students about my experiences, how I got my job, and how what I learned in the MA in Human Rights contributes to my work.

Well, that got me thinking, of course. How can I sum up 3 months into 30min with time for questions?

well, for starters - I started with WV when I was 20 years old...a few weeks before I turned 21. I started as an intern in their humanitarian department. I worked with them for about 3 months before heading back for my final year of undergrad. I came back post-graduation, as an intern again. And then have never left. Even as I moved to London to pursue a Master's degree, even as I actually tried to end my job, it didn't. I wanted to have a clean cut with WV to pursue a different path, but God had something different for me. So I worked with WV remotely and part-time. To be honest, one of the reasons I pursued it was because I hoped it would lead to a field-based job.

When the Haiti earthquake hit last January, I was broken. I wanted to be there. Something in my heart left me and flew to Haiti and it stayed. I was so upset that I could not go then, because of my commitments to school. I never expected that I would end up there almost 1 year later.

But that is what happened. Because of the job I was so eager to cut, I was able to move to Haiti. God knows better right? And I have never looked back.

Haiti is...different. It is complex. We always say that Haiti is different everyday, and it is. I love it. Something is always happening - from Duvalier coming back to political election violence to parties and parades in the street on a Sunday evening in the month leading up to Carnival. Haiti always throws something different your way.

My work with them has not been easy by any means. It was a level of difficulty I was unprepared for though. There are so many changes within WV and things going on internally so it is difficult to be prepared for something you are completely unaware of. But I tried to rise to the challenge. I hope I succeeded. Only time will tell for that one.

I think I have changed throughout this as well. I have become more self-reliant (if that was even possible - I was already VERY self-reliant before I left). Strength and resilience, while I always knew I had these traits, I never knew how deep they were. I truly discovered where my professional strengths lie. I love analysis, holding people accountable, improving programmes to be the best they can be, building the capacity of others - particularly national staff - and working with the communities to, as Clinton says, "Build Haiti Back Better." I only see the point of a project if it is sustainable - or a means to an end while the sustainable option is being developed. When I leave, I want to leave systems and things in place that are not going to die without my involvement. I want Haitians to be the proud owners of a better Haiti, not the receivers. Of course this is VERY difficult. And involves a lot more people than just myself.

My MA in Human Rights helped me more than I realised in the last 3 months. Not just by getting me out of the US, but by being a massive stepping stone to getting to the field and by also showing me how essential human rights principles, such as equality, participation and inclusion, accountability, and increasing the capacities of rights-holders to hold duty-bearers responsible for their actions, are in programming.

I also came to realise that the faults I have - I need to listen more, be less opinionated, and be more patient - need to drastically be improved upon. And I am working on it. I ate many pieces of humble pie while I was in my last role.

When I left for Haiti, I knew it was the place I was supposed to be at. And I still stand by that comment. I know I am not done with Haiti yet - and I know Haiti is not done with me. There is still lots left for me to learn (and not just learning French - although that is a BIG priority too). Even though it has only been a few days since I left, and I am loving being back in the UK, I cannot wait to get back into action. Watch out Haiti, I won't know what hit me by the time we are done.

The Cat's out of the Bag

2011-03-09T01:40:00.001-08:00

I kept this a secret for so long. And let me tell you, it was hard. Very hard.

Are you ready? Are you? Are you?

Hello London. Nice to see you again!

That's right folks. I am back. Just for a short visit in between contracts. But I am here. To see all of you!

I'll be here for the next 2 weeks, minus a short visit to the Scottish Highlands.

Give me a call at my old UK number to hang out!!!

Fingers Splayed

2011-03-06T05:33:00.000-08:00

So its been 2 weeks since my last blog. For this I apologise. Especially since the last one was so cryptic and depressing. The past 2 weeks have been - well, busy. As usual. And eventful. As usual.

I am finishing up my current 3-month contract and transitioning into a different 2-month long one. This one will hopefully be extended further. And its infinitely more in line with my interests and hopeful plans. I cannot wait. The team that I am joining is also all men. Haha. Super cool men, and I am excited to add a little bit of gender balance to the team. I think they need it ;)

So with that, I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off most days - but its been good. I am glad to say that I got most things done and that I hope my multiple supervisors are good with the work I have done. We will see.

BUT. The MOST eventful thing that has happened in the last 2 weeks - that deserves a story.
So, a about 10 days ago - last Tuesday to be exact - I had just arrived into the office and had to rush over for an emergency meeting with our Health team. Just a quick consultation, because I had lots to do that morning. They are in a different office, which is about a 1 minute walk away, across a treacherous intersection. Treacherous in that the road is terrible and uneven, and the cars there drive very insane.

Well, I have my meeting, it goes quite well and I am happily trotting back to my office to work on my various projects. When, all of a sudden, in the middle of the intersection, my show gets caught on a rock. And down, down, down I go. Now, normally I am pretty good at catching myself when I trip - I would say 9 out of 10 times. But with this, there was no way. As I go down, I am thinking, "Oh no! Cars! I am going to get run over!" I scramble back up, gather my things and then look down at my hand, because it feels weird.

And my left index and middle fingers are going opposite directions. Definitely not normal. A WV employee who I had not met before was walking at the same time, so he saw me fall, ran over to help pick me up, and when he noticed my hand, he said "To the Health team." And all I could think was (sorry mom and dad, but this is what I thought), "Shit, I just broke my fingers...well, at least its the left hand."

So, not 2 minutes after leaving, I return to the Health team, completely covered in dirt, with my middle finger dislocated from the knuckle and my index finger displaced from the joint in the middle of the finger. I stroll in, walk up to one of our Drs and tell him calmly, "So I just fell in the street and I think I may have broken my fingers." Our doctors sprung into action. Thank goodness we have many doctors and nurses on staff and that I have worked quite closely with them because of the cholera response. They are awesome.

I tried acting very strong and stoic about it all, but inside, I could tell I was going into a small shock. I have never broken or dislocated anything, so I am not used to seeing my body like that. The doctors sit me down; I immediately put my head in between my knees. I was fighting a faint for about 20 minutes, I think. Dr. G pulled on gloves, E, the nurse, brought out some iodine and anti-bacterial liquid for my scratches, and with gentle fingers, my fingers were popped back into place (I was biting my knee for the pain) and I did not faint. Or cry.

When the faint passed, I talked with the doctors. They thought it was not broken, but I went to a doctors office just to make sure. After the x-ray, it was confirmed that I had not broken my fingers. But I had to keep them taped up for 10 days. So, with 9 fingers, I have had to work for the last 10 days.

And my fingers are stiff, uncomfortable and it will take a lot of time before I have complete movement back in them. Geez. Haiti really does know how to through a curve ball at you.

I look back on it now with a lot of hilarity and quite a bit of embarrassment and annoyance. There are so many much cooler ways to dislocate ones fingers than by tripping in the street.

But as I go forward here at the response, I am making a name for myself. A name as someone who lots of stuff surrounds. Including now - stupid injuries. Haha.

Well, onto the next position. Let's see what this one brings.

The Strength Within

2011-02-21T04:03:00.001-08:00

I had a dream last night that I was on a cruise ship with a whole bunch of friends, but most of the time I was alone. Everywhere I went, I was either too late or people were doing something else without me. I felt forgotten.

I think this is very indicative of my life right now. Humanitarian work is tough. It is cut-throat. And at the end of the day, at the end of the contract, you have made a lot of aquaintances, a lot of colleagues, but you all will leave. I will leave.

I don't mean to sound melodramatic about it all. To be honest, I somewhat have a peace about it all. But for everyone who glamourises humanitarian work as 'saving the world' or so active and exciting, let me tell you. If you want this sort of life, be prepared to be alone. Be prepared to trust no one. Be prepared to rely only on yourself.

There are 2 weeks left in my contract. And all I have to say is "WHAAATTTT??????" It went by so quickly! Now this does not necessarily mean I am leaving Haiti. But is does mean that I have to explore what my options are. I think I would love to stay here (most of the time), and right now, that is what I am pursuing. My French is just getting somewhat manageable, I am beginning to develop those strong working relationships.

But at the same time, there is a part of me that feels like I should go. There is a part of me that is tired of not being supported, of constantly having to fight for my right to have some sort of control in what I do professionally. I am tired. I need R&R.

There are talks about a new role developing. It's a 6-week long contract, which is only like that as a 'trial' period, and hopefully there will be room and budget for me to continue. If not, who knows.

One other thing about humanitarian work - be prepared for your entire life to be one massive question mark. Consistently. It is consistently inconsistent. That is the guarantee.

Obviously, by this post, you can tell that there are a lot of things going on. A lot of things that I cannot share here. But, what has Haiti done to me and for me in the last 6-weeks? It has changed me. It made my work style different. It has solidified the strength that I always knew was in me. If I can make it through this on top, I can do anything. And making it on top is what I fully intend to do.

In the meantime, let me leave you with some recent photos...

This is the future of Haiti:

Someone asked me how my week was going and all I could say was "ummm... (long pause)... interesting???"

2011-02-13T12:36:00.001-08:00

This week was a week of some really exciting personal accomplishments - and also some of the most difficult professional issues I have ever faced. All while working way too much (a 16 hour day, everyday, anyone?), not eating or sleeping enough, and running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I spent 5 days in the field, and one day in the office (yes that adds up to 6 days...), but even the day I was in the office I was in meetings most of the day. Let's just say that it was a crazy week.

A Mobile Clinic in a camp at the Border

This week, I had planned to go to visit some camps with a few other colleagues. Myself, I was doing it from the cholera perspective - I needed to understand some of the activities that were going on at the camps, because we had some confusions about it, as well as getting the gps coordinates for some of our activities. So Monday, we met to discuss how we would go about it, and ended up leaving around noon. It was an awesome day. I went to camps I had not been to before, some which were particularly beautiful. We got to talk with camp committee members and viewed projects. I went with my housemate, L, who speaks French and English, and a few other colleagues. L was doing a great job translating for the rest of us non-French speakers. Well, something in me - impatience I think - just decided, "I don't want to wait for L to translate for me - I can do it myself." And all of a sudden, I was communicating in French! It was very helpful to have L around because if there were things I did not know, I could ask her for assistance, but just the fact that I was able to communicate, as in have a conversation with the people, is MASSIVE!!! Yay! Accomplishment Number 1! And as it turned out, I was able to go to other camps on Tuesday with just myself and the liaison officer - My French is definitely not good by any means, but just the fact that I am able to communicate makes me say "Brain, it's about time" haha. But French lessons should still help some.

Conducting cholera prevention awareness trainings to children.

Later on in the week, I had some meetings scheduled in the evening up one of the mountains here. And when I say mountain, I mean mountain. We hike it occasionally. But this mountain road is not like most mountain roads in the States. I mean, we are in Haiti - roads are bad here. This road is steep, slippery in some parts, not paved in others, and only wide enough for 1 car. I was driving a manual land rover, which is a very powerful, very big car. I am used to driving it now around all the small hills and traffic of Petion-ville, where our office is, but driving up the mountain was a challenge. Particularly, since I was not completely sure where the house was. Well, let me tell you. There were a few instances where the car was not going forward. No, it was going backwards...with cars behind me! I quickly became accustomed to using the hand brake to help me get going - but it was a stressful experience. When I arrived at the house, I wanted to just fall on the ground and breathe. Accomplishment Number 2! Making it up the mountain without dying or killing anyone else or ruining a very expensive vehicle. I think driving in Haiti is going to make me a much better driver than I used to be...

The other days spent in the field included conducting trainings, visiting cholera treatment sites, getting GPS information, and assisting with some trainings on cholera prevention. I went out to our projects at the border, visited some beautiful remote areas of Haiti, went to other camps - one camp I visited twice in one week! Days spent in the field are long, exhausting, but so invigorating at the same time. Being able to discuss with the community about our projects, to find out suggestions they have, and to get their feedback is excellent. Lots of time is spent in vehicles, but its great, and I hope it will help to direct the work we do.

Rural Haiti. Much different than Port-au-Prince

This week, there were also some very difficult moments professionally. As my job comes to a close (in 3 weeks!), there are issues to be figured out - including what I am doing next - and conversations that need to take place. I do not want to go into details about what happened, but let's just say that it was very stressful, discouraging, and occupied much of my thought process this week. But I think I handled it in the best way that I could - Accomplishment Number 3! - and will hopefully know a bit more about my situation this week.

There were other accomplishments and challenges this week as well, but these first 3 are the ones that I spent most of the time thinking about.

This weekend I have been trying to relax as much as possible - but that hasn't happened that much. I am very much starting to feel like I need R&R. But that will come.

Every week in Haiti is different, I am learning. And the need is great. There is too much work and too little time. Let's see what these last few weeks of my job bring.

Beach Days...

2011-02-06T16:23:00.000-08:00

I just returned from another lovely beach trip. And let me tell you, it was great! So great! Better than expected. I mean, I expected to have a really good time and get to hang out with some really awesome people, but it was even better than that. Let me tell you why...

*Photos taken from last Haitian Beach trip. Forgot my camera this time!

The outing was planned as a farewell to one of our colleagues, R. He is moving home tomorrow. I actually had just met him about a week or so ago. You see, I was driving home from the office and he lives in one of the teamhouses just around the corner from me. It was maybe a few days after I had started driving in Haiti - driving a landcruiser on hills that actually need 4-wheel drive - and I was not feeling confident yet. So, I am 'assigned' to drive this guy, R, home, which is down a massive hill. First off, he started by joking that he lived at my house...almost fooled me for a bit (hey, you never know...), but it was soon established that I was the crazier of the bunch, as I sweated profusely, unable to do the introductory chitchat driving down this hill. So, when I found out the farewell was for him, I laughed and said, well at least I can make him see that I am not that silly (even though we all know I am actually quite silly).

We went to Moulin-sur-Mer, a resort just around the corner from the one I went to on New Year's Day. It was much nicer than the other one, although smaller. Perfect for the 22 or so of us who carpooled out there for a weekend of enjoyment.

And enjoying it was. We started the day off too early, arriving at the beach at around 10am. Checked in, and headed straight down to the beach! The water was the same warm, clear blue Haitian water as usual and was perfect for tossing on some snorkel gear and heading out to the reef nearby! Which was exactly what happened.

***

Side note: out of the 22 of us, we figure we have most of the globe represented - North America (I was 1 of 2!), Europe, Middle East, South Asia, Australia, Haiti, and of course the Africans. Since R is from East Africa, there were loads of representation covering the span of Africa, from East to West to South. I loved the diversity and let me tell you, lots of languages conversed in and lots of laughter was shared. What a great group to be a part of!

***

*Moulin-sure-Mer is just around the corner from that point.

While I was out snorkeling, lots of activity was taking place towards the shore. You see, many Africans cannot swim. It has a lot to do with lack of access to a pool or coast, not being able to afford lessons, and just a lack of general cultural emphasis on it, such as in the States or Australia. So the few of us who could swim were 'designated teachers' showing friends how to float, kick, use their arms and actually just relax in the water. And let me tell you - some hilarious moments appeared. Such as when a housemate was lifting a colleague by his belly, trying to get him to kick and use his arms at the same time.

My major...achievement?... for the day included getting stung by a jellyfish. Twice. The first time, I didn't realise that was what happened, so I just shook it off and continued on my merry snorkeling day. The second time was just as I was heading back into shore, and I must have caught it as I was stroking. My entire forearm was covered. And it stung. A little at first, then more and more and more. And then welts started to appear! I was recommended by the staff to put some lime on it and use some ice. That helped, and so did time. I still have some splotches on my skin, but am none the worse for the wear. Special thanks goes to my housemate, who kindly volunteered to 'open his shop' and pee on my sting. I politely replied - thanks, but no thanks. The pain is not THAT bad!

Our afternoon was rounded out by lunch, resting, kayaking, laughing, drinking, more swimming lessons, and jumping on one of those massive floating water trampolines. We headed to the rooms soon after to shower, change and get ready for the evening's festivities.

We ate dinner on a concrete platform in the middle of the water, listening to music, drinking beers, looking at the amazing stars (I saw the moon-set in the water for the first time!!!) and then...the dancing. Oh, the dancing. Myself and another colleague were placed in charge of running the 'game of the evening'. Which involved a 3-legged dance competition. What laughter! Of course this led to much more dancing until the late hours of the evening. Nothing beats a night of dancing with friends and colleagues to electric, hip-hop, reggae, African, and latin beats, followed by a late night swim and falling asleep under the shooting stars. Well, this is true, but I didn't actually mean to fall asleep under the stars!!! Whoops!!!

Today, after breakfast, our morning of hilarity continued with water fights, dancing in the ocean, more trampoline jumping, more kayaking and snorkeling, and building a 3-man totem pole. Or more accurately, a man-woman (me)-woman structure. Can't wait to see the pics!

Now, at home, working for the evening, I am just reminiscent of an excellent time, with excellent people and the desire to share experiences like this more often. Haiti, you are definitely on my good side today!

Days Like These...

2011-01-27T08:58:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you just have those days. Days where nothing seems to go right. For me, that day is today. But at the same time, I am un-phased by it. I find it actually quite amusing!

I woke up this morning to a lovely sounding alarm (not!) at 5:30am. This is because my day at the office was scheduled to start at 7 with a 2-hour advanced French class. I roll out of bed, thankful that the electricity is working so I don't have to be bothered by telling our security guards to turn on the generator, and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Mid brush, the water runs out. Oh no! Thank goodness I keep a bottle of water under the sink! But today is a'washing hair' day. And yep, its out all over the house. Crap. Looks like no shower for me. And that would have been so lovely, so early in the morning. Thankfully bottled water can be used to wash a little...

My flatmate decides to not come with me at this time, in order to get more sleep (jealous). Hey, at least its kinda fun driving a landrover by myself. Might have been a little bit of car dancing...

Show up for French, 1 other student shows up. We sit for 30min and nothing. No teacher. No other students. Gah! So early for no reason! Ugh. Well, at least I got to have plenty of coffee...

Go to my desk. Start work. Headphones in, as they help me concentrate. But wait! I can't hear the words anymore. That's odd. Oh wait. My headphones which have been threatening to break for a while have actually broken. Ugh. And no where to get headphones in Haiti! (or at least they would be super expensive). Will I have to survive without them until the end of March when I go to LA??? Oh wait, colleague is leaving today to DC for the weekend and she graciously agrees to buy me a cheap pair at Target or CVS or something. Score!

Gotta 'run errands' around the office. Stop by to chat with someone and complain about my headphones. Wait! He just happens to have an extra (crappy) pair. But hey, they work! Awesome! Will last me until my new cheap pair comes! Freak yeah!

Still. At the same time, I really just wish I was doing this again:

Turks & Caicos last weekend. *Post coming soon

So, today, everything has gone wrong. BUT at the same time, everything has gone right too...

Not bad :)

Some super smart decisions were made this week...

2011-01-16T07:39:00.002-08:00

Super smart decisions like deciding to stay out until 2am on Thursday night because my old boss was in town, when I had my alarm set for 5:30am the next day because I had to be at the office early. Yep, smart decisions like those. But it was a good night and it was great to catch up with people from the past.

So, this past Wednesday was the 1-year anniversary of the Haiti Earthquake. On 12 January 2010, a 7.0 earthquake struck just outside of Port-au-Prince causing massive destruction and displacing over a million.

Now, 1 year later, 800,000 people are still displaced and a cholera epidemic has struck the country. But that does not mean that there was not extensive amounts of work done in this past year. Despite all the media criticising our response saying it was too slow, that cholera should not have happened, that we should learn from other emergencies, being here I can see how difficult it is to get things done. Especially in this insecure political climate. Development is not some easy formula and if you want to fix one thing (such as getting rid of cholera), you have to fix lots of things (like the sewage system - which should be the government's or corporation's responsibility; depending on who owns them). Its a slow, long, arduous process and is not something that can be easily measured in a year.

Houses in Port-au-Prince's hills

In my humble opinion, we are doing some actually very great work in response to the cholera epidemic. Cholera is a fierce disease; it can take a life in less than half a day. But when you look at our (as in all NGOs) response, yes people are getting cholera, but not many are dying from it. Which says something about our treatment. And in the North of Haiti as well as in PaP, transmission of cholera is decreasing, which means that we are doing something right with our hygiene promotion...

Anyway, this week was a busy week for lots of people because of the 1-year anniversary. Wednesday, the office was closed in remembrance of last year, and we had lots of visitors doing field visits. My week was spent working, of course, with very little socialising. Except for my super smart decision Thursday night. haha.

My Friday was spent mostly in a car, taking a trip out to our activities at the Border, where we have a CTC - Cholera Treatment Centre - as well as some hygiene promotion activities. It was great to get out and see some of the amazing work we are doing. Although I was exhausted by the end of the day, due to lack of sleep... I am trying to get out of the office as much as I can. This helps with relationships with people, as well as just appreciating the work we are doing.

Our CTC at the Border

All in a week's work. 1-year anniversaries, visits from Sean Penn and Bill Clinton (my flatmate saw them at the Lebanese restaurant here), trips out to the field, catching up with an old boss. Someone I was talking to this week said that their first field experience was in Haiti and they have felt this connection to the place ever since then. I have a feeling that this will happen to myself as well. Haiti is definitely growing on me...

PS. other actual smart decisions were made this week. Like taking next weekend to go to Turks and Caicos for instance. And other work-related ones of course...

The Beauty Outside of Port-au-Prince

A Little Bit Tanner; More at Home

2011-01-09T16:37:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been a while since I have sent an update and oh what a while it has been... I last left you on New Year's Eve. Well since then, I have (as the blog title describes) gotten a little bit tanner and am more at home...in many senses of the word.

But first the tan part. For New Year's Eve, I desperately wanted to get out of PaP and go to the beach. However, this was not to be so, as security was only cleared New Year's eve day. However our curfew was extended to 2am, thankfully (should get more into the curfew stuff in another post, methinks). So, NYE was spent with most of WV (and a little bit of Concern Worldwide) at 2 separate clubs. We went to the first one because we did not want to go to the 'same old, same old' (not that any of it is old for me yet haha). They had a live band, which the idea of sounded good. When said band turned out to be reggae, mj included, we all non-reggae lovers decided that 'same old same old' was good enough for us. So off to the dance club we headed and dance we did. It was a great night, ending at a teeny-weeny bit past curfew (shhh).

However New Year's Day was not spent sleeping till all hours of the afternoon like normal people. There was a small protest scheduled to take place at 10am, so a small group of us decided to get out of town at 9am and head to the beach overnight. And it was so lovely. New Years was spent swimming in the warm Caribbean water, drinking rum slushies while lounging on the beach. We were all still exhausted from NYE, so we called it a night early after a few games of Texas Hold'Em, waking up early enough for a long walk on the beach in the cool morning air. Sunday, the day after, was spent lounging by the pool, swimming laps, playing beach volleyball and of course the warm turquoise water called to me for another swim as well. All home in time to fit in some work on Sunday evening. What a great weekend.

The reason I wanted to fit in some work on Sunday night was because this week was the first full week back in the office and I knew it would be a busy one. But a good one. The week was spent in front of a laptop, networking with people I had either not met before, or people who had been gone over Christmas break. And I started to realise that coming when I did, post-lockdown, pre-Christmas, prevented me from getting into my groove. I was lonely; I displayed a lack of motivation for my job and an agressiveness for all other jobs which was unlike me; I think I was not completely myself.

That is now changing. I am getting into the groove at work and discovering that I actually really enjoy being a knowledge manager. I just moved into my own house today, shared with 4 other WV colleagues. It is a new house - well, new to WV - and is so massive, it has 3 dining rooms. Seriously. But I have my own room (which is awesome btw) and am now getting into the groove. I am so glad I had that time over Christmas, but am so glad its past as well.

Haiti is looking to be a great time:

- Hikes are planned (well, more hikes...an 8k walk at 6:30am is actually quite spectacular)

- Housewarming party anyone?

- A weekend trip to Turks & Caicos is in the works in a few weeks time...

Loving Haiti this week and so glad that I am.

Ringing in a New Year...

2010-12-31T14:32:00.000-08:00

London Snow Day!!!

Well, this is it. 2010 is over, 2011 is next up. First off, I would like to just add to everyone else who is saying right now "Dang, where did the year go!?" Buuuut at the same time, I did accomplish a lot this year. Quick overview:

- Finished my MA

- Graduated

- Volunteered at the Refugee Council

- While working at WV for most of it

- Travelled to quite a few different countries. (counting the US and UK, its probably somewhere around 8ish...)

- Developed a family away from home, adding yet even more people to the list of people I will forever miss, yet rarely see. (Weddings anyone? They always bring people together. K. Who's first?)

- Realised that the guy that was kinda interesting at the beginning of the year is actually very amazing and am proud to be ending the year with him by my side (metaphorically, not physically unfortunately)

- and the most recent...moved to Haiti.

The Whole London Family. What a Large, Dysfunctional, Loving Group!

Yep, that's quite a lot to have gotten done. And I have many plans for 2011 shaping up as well.

- Coming home to LA for a visit in March

- Hopefully bringing a nice Australian visitor with me ;)

- Travelling to Oz for what is sure to be the first of many times

- Travelling around the Caribbean, hopefully eradicating this pale London skin I have developed

- Working in Haiti attacking Cholera

- Figuring what is next on the cards. 10 bucks says I will ring in 2012 living in yet another country...

Australian Boyfriend :)

But to all of you who are kind enough to be interested in what is going on in my life, I just want to say, I love you and I am blessed that you are in my life. I wish you all the happiness and blessings this world can afford to give. xx

Joyeux Noel et Bonne Année

2010-12-27T05:26:00.000-08:00

Well, Christmas has come and went. And having no Christmas decorations or Christmas tree or presents, ore really much of any tradition, it did not really feel like Christmas around here. I spent 1 night last week making Christmas trees out of green construction paper, and that was the best I could do - especially since I am now in this apartment - staying in someone else's room - by myself. So far it has not been too lonely, but I think that has a lot to do with the fact that it was Christmas and there were lots of events going on.

But let me start off with what happened this week for me. It was a short work week - the office was 'closed' starting from Thursday - I still went in though. Better than working from home by myself. At least there is some sort of human interaction.

However, I realised shortly into it that it is going to be very difficult for me to do my job this week. We are 'closed' through the 2nd now, and much of the work I need to do, I need other people around for. Well, at least now I am able to throw out my arm and say "Hey! I am available! Give me something to do!"

And in the meantime, socializing and celebrating Christmas has been the task at hand. We had a Christmas party on the rooftop on Christmas eve for all the expats still in town - about 30 of us. And it was a success. I somehow ended up on the planning committee, organising decorations and food set up. Also went grocery shopping with others as well. It was a lot of fun, but a lot of work. All the leftover food is now left at my apartment - I don't know what to do with it all! It's going to go bad!

But anyway, we celebrated Christmas in typical expat style - lots of dancing and beer. I thoroughly enjoyed it, but had moments of loneliness and missing my CA family and my London family. Had to come downstairs to make some Skype calls to the bf - nothing says Merry Christmas like having someone wake you up in the middle of the night to tell you to get on Skype! haha. :P

But the night ended late, and I had all these grandiose plans to make pancakes for a small group of friends here on Christmas am, but that didn't happen. Oh well. Think it had a lot to do with skyping the fam, doing some of our traditions through Skype - like reading the Christmas story - and also skyping the London fam. They were having a massive meal at my old house for 17 of them! I got passed around and told everyone I missed them. :(

I went with a few friends here to a local pool on Christmas day - it didn't work out very well though because it was late afternoon by the time we got there and it was actually quite cool. Still no tan on my arms. Darn. But afterwards was Christmas dinner at another NGOs house. And let me tell you - this felt like Christmas. They had all the traditional - turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, and the best cranberry sauce I have ever had! And again, in true expat style, we ended the night at a nightclub dancing away. Well, we didn't stay too late this time.

Christmas here didn't really feel like it though, as I said at the beginning. It almost feels like you go through the motions because its what you are told to do. Honestly, if we hadn't had the parties, I would have probably completely forgotten about it. Loneliness does set in, but I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I am not staying at a house of my own and I am here by myself.

All I can say is that I am excited for this work week. Being productive is the best way to make the time go by.

I hope your Christmases were excellent and filled with lots of close family and friends. That truly is the way to spend the day. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. xx

Bienvenue à Haïti

2010-12-19T09:46:00.002-08:00

View from my balcony - it's raining...

So, My first week in Haiti has come and gone quickly. And an interesting one it was. I will admit that I mostly saw the office and home - but such is life when you are brought into a job just as everyone is leaving for Christmas break, and when every day is a question mark because you never know what the security situation is...

Here are a few observations / stories:

- I am one of two staff here now dedicated to the Cholera response. This means my job will not just be "Knowledge Management" but will also include whatever needs to get done regarding the response. But hey, I am looking forward to it. I like being a catch-all.
- Everyone here says the staff are awesome. I am finding out that this is VERY true! At work, I sit in the programming section, which is very women-heavy (actually the whole response is), and there are times when we are just sitting around laughing, or complaining about work, or freaking out together about different things. Its good. I know I am going to enjoy my co-workers
- I have gotten to get out a bit this week - Wednesday night went out for pizza and drinks, Friday night went out dancing, Saturday went to an impromptu Christmas / dance party. Everyone here loves dancing. I love dancing. Its a great fit. :)
- Depending on the security situation, I am thinking about trying to go to the beach for Christmas. Or sometime during the Christmas break. What I didn't know until I arrived here was that the office will be closed from 23 Dec - 2 Jan. I know I will still work during that time, but hey, that leaves extra time to spend doing something else. Plus I know I need to get out more.
- I got my first mosquito bite. It itches. And No, I am not worried I have malaria.
- Its actually quite cooler here than you would expect. Maybe mid-70sF/high 20sC. Cool enough for a light sweater. And for snuggling up at night under the covers. I like covers.
- I miss cooking. We have a housekeeper and she cooks us breakfast and dinner. Its nice to have something available when I get home, but at the same time, I miss cooking. She doesn't come on Sundays, so today I get to make myself dinner. I am soooo looking forward to that. Don't know what I will cook yet.
- When we went out dancing on Friday night, I learned something new about 'street politics' in Haiti. We had to park on the street, and as we approached the club, I noticed many Haitian men out and about. They were directing us to where to park. Then, as we got out, the one who was directing us told us his name. You see, he will watch our car for us while we were inside to make sure nothing happened to it. And at the end of the night, as we left, we found him and gave him some cash for his work. You see, I have noticed in my limited interaction with the Haitian population, that they don't just want a hand-out. They want to do something for that money. Like watching our cars, or carrying our bags at the airport. I have to say, I appreciate that. I think people in the West get this view of people living in poverty that all they want is some money, but that they are not willing to work hard for it. This is very untrue, at least with the limited interactions that I have had in different countries. Yes, there are still beggars and street children, but overall, they do something to make money, not just sit and wait for someone to give it to them. Entreprenuership spirit? Maybe. But good on them.

After next week, I will hopefully have seen a bit more than just my house and the office. But I am still so glad to be here.

First Impressions

2010-12-12T14:35:00.002-08:00

Well, I have been in Haiti for just over 24 hours now. And I have seen the inside of my flat, and the inside of some cars. Which also means I have seen Haiti, but only through windows. But from what I have seen so far, I think I am going to love living here. So here are my first impressions:

*All Photos Taken From My Rooftop Balcony

- Haiti has horrible roads and sidewalks. Driving is not always on a paved street, and if it is paved, it has terrible potholes. Typical of a developing nation...

- Haiti is very green and jungle-y. There are gorgeous rainforest covered mountains with views out to the bright blue sea. And the temp is actually not that bad! Right now, at 5pm it is 29*C / 85*F, humid, overcast and with a nice breeze. My skin is mildly damp, but not sweaty. I think I can handle this. However, the weather should only stay like this through Feb, when the rainy season starts. Oh, joy...

- Haitian people seem to be very friendly and kind. This of course is based off my interactions with them at the airport and at the store. As expected in a developing country, the airport was swarming with people trying to 'help you' in order to make some money. The airport was a bit confusing, so I ended up being helped by a guy who took me straight to the WV driver. Cost me $5, but the guy was either a deaf/mute or couldn't talk. I figured that this must be his only income so either way, I didn't feel too bad that I was swindled into having someone help me.

- Haiti is surprisingly very expensive. I have been to the grocery store twice and have realised that one can easily spend $100 on a weeks worth of groceries. It is a wonder and a pain to me to think about how Haitians live.
- I was taken straight to one of the WV teamhouses, which is just in an apartment complex. I am staying in a woman's room while she is on R&R leave. So I will be here for 3 weeks, and have lucked out by getting a room that is huge with a double bed, balcony with views to the mountains, and an ensuite toilet/shower! Score! Let's see where I end up next. PS. the building also has a rooftop patio and lots of other WV staff staying here as well. Am getting to meet everyone, which is really nice.

- The political situation in Haiti is still quite tumultuous. There is supposedly going to be a recount of all the votes, which the top 2 candidates are rejecting. There is also supposed to be a re-election in January. But whatever is happening, Haitian people are not happy. The WV office has been closed this last week and all staff have been on lockdown, meaning they could not leave their houses. At all. And it looks like this is only going to continue. I have heard stories about burning tires being rolled around, barricades on the streets and cars set on fire. But all our staff have been safe, and I am staying in a relatively safe part of town. However, we need to be prepared just in case we are evacuated. Some other NGOs have evacuated their staff in preparation for this week.

That being said, I need to be prepared as well. Just think, I may have struggled to arrive here only to be evacuated. I am not sure if the office is open tomorrow, so I am not even sure if I will be starting work tomorrow. Its all up in the air, but whats new for my life. But its been an adventure so far, and I am interested to see what happens.

Well, I am off to pack my Quick Run Bag. :)

Leaving things behind

2010-12-10T08:15:00.001-08:00

In 2009, I made a commitment to myself and my career. I want to move at least every 2 years - whether that means moving jobs or locations or something, I decided that that was best for me and my career. First in that step was moving from my house in Pasadena back to my parents for a few months, then onto London. Now getting rid of a full apartments worth of stuff was hard work. And kinda sucked. But I decided that I need to make my life as mobile as possible. Right now, I pretty much have some bedroom furniture and just my books stored at my parents house.

I moved to London with 3 suitcases, and brought some more stuff over at Christmas. And of course I accumulated lots as I was living over there.

As I was cleaning out my room for the move over here, I realised that I am going to have to become a master at just getting rid of things. And of not having emotional attachments to things. Its actually quite difficult.

I came over to the UK with a lot of stuff that meant a lot to me. Only to realise as I was packing things up that I need to only keep things with me that do NOT mean a lot to me. It makes things a lot easier to get rid of. And also I need to buy things cheaply.

Even packing up all my stuff in London, I had to make major decisions that its easier to throw/give away and buy new things than to cart everything around. Not the cheapest option, but the easiest. Shoes, clothes, coats, jewellery - all items that were left in London and will need to be rebought as I need them...

So as I said yesterday, I am completely unprepared for staying in NYC for a week (what it is going to be now...I leave no earlier than Tuesday). Good thing as I was walking around, that I decided to buy a cheap coat (thanks H&M sale!) and cheap boots (thanks Payless!). Since it is decidedly NOT cold in Haiti, I may have to leave them behind. Or bin them in Haiti.

This is now a part of my life now. For the next few years, as I fulfil my commitment to myself, I will be leaving things behind. Just gotta make it work.

The times, they are a changin'

2010-12-09T07:46:00.001-08:00

I am writing this sitting in a hotel room in New York City. An airport hotel room. Classy. I was only supposed to be in said hotel room for about 8 hours. But instead, this is where I will call 'home' for the next 3 nights. At least.

You see, I am moving to Haiti as an aid worker with World Vision. Which negated me flying through NYC from London to get there. But half an hour before I left my lovely London house for the last time, my old boss contacts me to tell me that the Haiti airport is closed. So I may not be able to fly there. Turns out there is election violence in Port-au-Prince, so no flights are going in or out. And I am stuck here in NYC.

This is good for a few things - get to search out all the American foods I missed, I know people here so I can catch up with old friends. But - its cold here. I am moving to a tropical locality. I already mailed all my cold weather clothes home - so now I am stuck here having to just pile on the clothes. Thank God for leggings and knee high socks. And scarves. And I kinda feel like I am homeless now. In transit is probably a better description, but its still an odd sensation. To have someone ask, so where are you from, and for me to say, well, I am originally from LA, lived for the last year in London and am in process to move to Haiti. But right now, my address is an airport hotel right by JFK.

Its weird being back in the US. It doesn't feel like home. Will it ever again? I don't know.

These next few months are going to be difficult. They are going to be challenging. Heck, I am moving to a place where they riot over elections, where I had to get a cholera vaccine before I moved there (btw, the US doesn't have the vaccine yet. But the UK does. Thanks UK!). I will be away from lots of people I love and I have no idea what is happening after. But working as the Knowledge Management Officer for the Cholera Response will give me work experience previously unprecedented in my life. And hopefully will allow me to finally become conversational / workable in French.

Let's see what happens. My times, they are a changin. But I will charge forward. And I will hopefully keep my experiences documented for all you :)

Thanksgiving Feast

2010-11-24T05:53:00.001-08:00

Photos from a recent walk at Wimbledon Common

Tomorrow is American Thanksgiving. A fact I keep having to remind myself of. I am in full realisation now of how necessary marketing is to holiday-making. Haha. But the US' marketing ploys and/or swindles are not the point of this post.

No, this post is about food. As in food comparisons between the US and the UK.

You see right now, I am in the process of making my Thanksgiving "feast" for myself, my flatmates, coworkers, friends, etc. Which consists of me baking my mother's amazing pumpkin chipper bread - except in the form of teeny muffins. Yum! What a classic. It's a pumpkin bread with chocolate chips and all the spices that scream AUTUMN!!!! (like cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, etc).

Regardless of the fact that I do not eat turkey and therefore do not cook turkey and regardless of the fact that this is the only real celebration I get because I am working tomorrow, these are going to be good. (I just had a 'sample' *wink)

But they are not amazing. They are not exactly like back home. I think this has to do with a few factors.

1. Ovens: Over here, ovens are in degrees Celsius. Well, most are. But they are in 5 degree increments, which if you have ever converted Celsius to Fahrenheit, you know that my oven temp will never be the exact same here as it will back home. But then there's the fact that I have a gas fan oven. Which comes in numbers. Right now, I am using gas number 4, which according to this chart, is equivalent to 350F. But there's still something off about my muffins.

2. It could have to do with measurements. One of the best thing about the UK, at least by the average American standard, is that they use a lot of similar measurements...miles, feet, pounds (even though they through the odd 'stone' in there), and more. But with cooking, they use grams. And let me tell you, it is difficult to get 1 cup of butter (what the recipe calls for) out of 250g (what I have. FYI the conversion is 229.something grams). So, there's always something a little off.

3. Or it could have to do with the fact that its missing key ingredients. (not any of the normal ones. I really think it would be difficult to change flour, eggs and even baking soda aka bicarbonate of soda between countries. I could be surprised though. If so, I will let you know) In this case, its the walnuts. You see, the store I went to to get the ingredients (good ol' Sainsburys) did not have walnuts. Granted it was a small shop, but this is quite common here in the UK. Which is the actual point of this post... (and actually walnuts don't make a lot of difference in the recipe).

In the US, we become accustomed to always having items and always having options. Lots of options. We can choose between 4 different brands of chocolate chips, 6 brands of flour, and who knows how many different nuts. Well, at Sainsburys, they had slivered almonds or ground almonds. Thats it. And that is quite normal. It is normal to walk into a supermarket and find that they have run out of most of the fruits and veggies, or pasta sauce, or vegetarian soup, or loaves of bread. Stores here have limited stock.

But here's the real kicker. While it can be slightly frustrating to have to change your dinner plans based on lack of ingredients available, it really is not that annoying. Do we need 20 different brands of toothpaste? Really, how many types of butter do you need? I am not here to argue that the US is too capitalist to the point where it just gets insane (standing in the condiment aisle trying to decide between heinz ketchup and whoknowswhatotherbrand for 5 minutes is just a waste of time), although I do think that. I am here to say that walking into a grocery store to find that there are no bell peppers makes you appreciate just that much more when they do.

My pumpkin chipper muffins are not ruined because Sainsburys did not have any walnuts. No, they are the food version of the fact that I am thankful that I live here in the UK for the time being, getting to experience new things, seeing how a 'Western' nation can be quite different - and appreciating that difference! -, and making great new friends I get to share my almost amazing muffins with.

I really need to be more diligent about writing.

2010-11-23T05:49:00.000-08:00

I have lived in the UK now for over a year. And its been almost a year since my last post. And a lot has changed...and a lot hasn't.

- I moved from my house in Clapham to another house in Acton. This house is with friends and we have an amazing garden, and my room has a window. All things you appreciate when you lived in a box that would kill you very quickly if there ever was a fire, since you would not be able to get out. I still live with a bunch of Aussies and Kiwis. And yes, they are awesome. Most of the time :P.

- I finished uni. All done. And according to the all-powerful external examiners, I passed with merit. I am quite proud of that. Wish I could have passed with distinction, but who am I to complain about a great grade. So, you can now refer to me as: Angela Huddleston, MA. thankyouverymuch. :)

- While things are getting figured out, I work at a local pub. Its ok. It's nice to have something to do, but I work evenings and weekends, which means I do not get to see much of the aforementioned awesome friends/flatmates.

- At said pub, the customers all reckon that I am an aussie or a kiwi. I wonder if my accent has changed. But then I hear a North American accent and hope that my accent has changed! even a little. Its very grating. I am going to have massive culture shock upon my (who-knows-when-it-will-be) trip back home.

- In the meantime, I am trying to learn French through this awesome website: www.livemocha.com. Its online and completely addictive. At the very least, my French vocab is increasing ever so slowly. Still waiting for being forced to move to a French speaking country so I can force myself to become good. Sigh. Sooner or later.

- I still miss: mexican food, bagels, and lots of other junk foods.

- Best London things: lemsip (a lemony cold medicine that you drink hot. it feels oh so good and gets rid of the cold right quick!), autumn (definitely my favourite season), and being able to eat soup whenever I want because it is cold enough for soup.

- My parents are coming next week for my graduation. I am hoping for snow then. Because that would be awesome.

And here are a few pic of London in the snow from last year, just to show you how gorgeous it is.

xx

"skating" down the sidewalk to the tube. Somehow I made it through with no major falls!

Because there should be a cow in the snow... ?

Jumping for joy on my first ever (and probably last ever) Snow Day!

Maybe the Earthquake was a good thing…

2010-01-18T11:56:00.000-08:00

The recent earthquake in Haiti may have been the best thing that could have happened to the country.

Now don’t get me wrong – I am not saying that Haiti deserved it. The massive level of destruction and loss of human lives (tens of thousands feared dead, millions more affected, says the Haitian Red Cross[1]) is horrendous and never desired.

What I am saying is that Haiti, the Western Hemisphere’s most impoverished nation, may finally be getting the attention it needs to bring it to a higher level of development.

Haiti, a Caribbean nation with beautiful beaches, lush mountains, valuable natural resources and a rich French-Creole history, is a country that should attract many tourists. But for the last almost 170 years, Haiti has been plagued by political instability, dictatorships, coups, violence, and an ever increasing poverty level. A bloody rebellion in 2004 left the country in shambles; 2008 brought a series of hurricanes that overwhelmed the nation and destroyed much of its already limited infrastructure.

Under current President Rene Preval, the country seems to be slowly stabilising. But President Preval has a long way to go. In 2009, Haiti was number 149 out of 182 countries on the UN Human Development Index[2], in company with countries such as Sudan, Tanzania and Papua New Guinea. Human rights abuses abound in Haiti. The right to life, arguably the most essential human right, is still continuously violated. Rampant instances of crime and corruption, violence against women and girls, and cruel and degrading treatment in Haitian prisons were still exposed as recent as March 2009[3]. Even more staggering are the breaches of economic, social and cultural rights: only 1 in 5 Haitian secondary-school age children actually attend a secondary school. Only 25% of the population has access to clean water, 80% of the rural population lives in poverty, including particularly vulnerable women and children.[4]

The World Bank called Haiti “a Poverty Trap”[5] – where underinvestment in human capital, lack of economic opportunities, and poor governance keep it locked in a state of hopelessness.

So what needs to be done to bring Haiti onto the development train? Of course, for a problem this large, there is no quick fix. Haiti needs a secure and stable environment and economy; its government needs to be strengthened; its people’s inherent human rights need to be fulfilled. Most of all, Haiti needs the support of governments and donors.

Haiti has ratified the International Covenant of Civil and Political Rights, the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women, the Convention on the Rights of the Child, all which bind the government to respect, protect and fulfil specific human rights, as defined by those treaties. In 2004, the United Nations established the United Nations Stabilization Mission in Haiti (MINUSTAH)[6] to secure and stabilise Haitian social structures, assist the political process and to monitor and report on the human rights situation in the nation.

Monumentally, in 2009, Haiti received full debt relief from the International Monetary Fund under the Heavily-Indebted Poor Countries (HIPC) Initiative, which is designed to allow a country with an un-manageable debt burden to achieve poverty reduction through re-investing that money in governmental structures and social services.

But with every step forward, Haiti –the ‘Poverty Trap’ – seems to take two steps back. The earthquake has affected the most vulnerable and has damaged crucial infrastructure. It is going to take a lot of investment to get Haiti back on track.

But here we are today: Haiti is the number one story in the media. Donations to humanitarian relief and development organisations are flowing in. Former US President and current Special Envoy for Haiti, Bill Clinton agrees that what Haiti needs most now is “money for water, food, shelter and basic medical supplies to bring immediate relief“[7]. From these contributions, development agencies can assist in the process of not only just getting Haiti back to where they were at 4:30pm local time on January 13, 2010 just before the earthquake struck, but also to where they can be – secure, stable and full of hope.

So, as devastating as the earthquake was, maybe it was just what Haiti needed.

[1] http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/N13103860.htm

[2] http://hdr.undp.org/en/media/HDR_2009_EN_Complete.pdf

[3] http://daccess-dds-ny.un.org/doc/UNDOC/GEN/G09/126/97/PDF/G0912697.pdf?OpenElement

[4]http://web.worldbank.org/WBSITE/EXTERNAL/TOPICS/EXTPOVERTY/EXTPA/0,,contentMDK:20207590~menuPK:443285~pagePK:148956~piPK:216618~theSitePK:430367,00.html

[5]http://web.worldbank.org/WBSITE/EXTERNAL/TOPICS/EXTPOVERTY/EXTPA/0,,contentMDK:20207590~menuPK:443285~pagePK:148956~piPK:216618~theSitePK:430367,00.html

[6] Security Council resolution 1529 (2004)

[7] http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/01/13/AR2010011304604.html

Stereotypes

2009-09-20T11:37:00.000-07:00

Last year, during the presidential race, the media and the republicans agressively commentend on Michelle Obama saying that she was finally proud to be an American. Everyone was shocked at how "un-patriotic" she was - wondered how anyone who was running for president could have a wife who was not proud to be an American.

I knew exactly how she felt. I have noticed that the only time I will admit to being an American, the only time that I will actually defend my country is when I am travelling. Much of this is because, being the rebel that I am, I want to prove to others that Americans are aware of what is going on in the world, that they are not all unintelligent, that they did not all support Bush and the war in Iraq, etc. Essentially, I want to break American stereotypes.

Breaking stereotypes, having people say to me, 'you are the first American I have gotten along with' or 'hmmm. Didn't know that about America and Americans' is quite thrilling. I enjoy being the person who opens people's eyes to the potential of Americans.

As I travel, I strive to be open to breaking the stereotypes that exist about others.

-----

As I walked home yesterday, with my big shopping bags (coutesy of purchasing my linens from Primark), a man passed me as I was approaching my house. He walked passed me, noticed my struggles and then in a soft effeminate voice asked, "Would you like some help with that?" in a perfect British accent. I thanked him, "No I am almost home" but that did not stop my shock.

A few months prior to that, I read a book, recommended by some jolly English colleagues called Watching the English. This book is an anthropological study of what makes the English English. Fascinating. But at the same time, not surprising. At the end of it all, it essentially boiled down to the fact that the English in public are a bunch of social bumblers who need rules or alcohol to actually be themselves.

So I entered into this situation with the knowledge that the English may not be the most open of all cultures. And this stereotype has consistently - much to the pleasure of the English themselves - been broken.

From the man asking if I needed help, to all of the people who laughed at me as I laughed at myself, I have been pleasantly surprised by the friendliness and helpfulness of the English. (Although a bit of me wonders if it is just because I have been appropriately friendly and full of laughter at myself first).

Nonetheless - a stereotype has been broken and I am encouraged by my interactions with the English...although throughout this whole process I feel more and more 'typically' American...a fact I am not very proud of and am trying to change. Not the American part - the typical part.

-----

The French have amazing stereotypes against them, particularly the 'rude Parisians'. After my first visit to Paris, I came away surprised! The only really 'bad' experience that I had with Parisians was in a pharmacy when I was trying to find throat lozenges. I had a horribly cold, and wanted to find something to soothe my throat. This was also the first time that I entered a shop and started off with the sentence, "Parlez-vous francais?"

Prior to that I had operated 'in French mode', that is speaking in French to any native French person, from the waiters, shopkeepers, boulangers, etc. Most of the time they could tell from my butchered French accent that I was not a French speaker, so they would revert to English. However, sometimes they did not and we spoke exclusively in French (how my favourite creperie became my favourite).

The most emotion and the most 'rudeness' I received was a bit of a sigh as they reverted from French to English. The woman at the pharmacy was the rudest, begrudgingly (and slightly rudely) helping me and not understanding my requests for something to make my sore throat feel better.

I left with the knowledge that Parisians are very proud of their language - and if you approach them with the openness to learn their language, they are more likely to accept you and be nice to you.

My second experience with Paris only confirmed that fact. And actually found some of the individuals we interacted with quite lovely!

-----

People groups are just a group of individuals. Stereotypes about groups only increases your judgements about them. This limits your openness to learning something new about that people group.

Stay open. Don't stereotype.

white people + rap = hilarity

2009-09-19T16:59:00.000-07:00

I just got home from seeing White Lies, Girls Aloud, Jay-Z and Coldplay at Wembley stadium.

(quick side note: all of them were awesome! particularly coldplay in the pouring rain, with the man in front of me whinging about the rain and then whinging when it stopped because it changed the atmosphere...and using the word whinging in a sentence...)

I was struck by a moment of hilarity during the Jay-Z part of the show.

Now, I am in London, England - which is full of English people...the majority happen to be white (at least at the concert).

Jay-Z, on the other hand, is a Black American man from New York City.

I wondered if I was the only person who fould it quite hilarious that a bunch of white men got so thrilled to 'bouce' their hands and bodies up and down, acting hardcore, while Jay-Z sang...sorry rapped It's a Hard-Knock Life.

oh the irony.

Cheers London

2009-09-16T15:39:00.000-07:00

I moved to London this last weekend. Wow. Coming back to St. Pancras Station this morning - returning from my trip to Paris - I came home. Not back to London; for a short holiday in England; just a quick stopover...No, this is where I live now. Indefinitely.

After watching the beautiful sunset displayed in the photo, I am now sitting in my very draft, oh so English flat contemplating all the errands I have to run tomorrow. Daunting, but very exciting.

And it just makes my mind go crazy with thoughts:

There are more Southern Africans here than I remember. I hope it leads to some good conversations
My room is super tiny, but oh so perfectly sized for me.
I climbed out the window to our "smoker's balcony" to view the sunset. In the US a balcony without a door to it would just not make sense. But here...perfectly normal
I am living with 4 kiwis (only 2 are here at the time, and a Italian woman subletting for a few more weeks) and I am having more trouble understanding them than I thought I would.
Many times over the last few days I have wanted to throw up over the fact that this is now home. My current address is no longer in the US. I think it just feels unreal.
For a BIG transition, this was really not too difficult. It had its moments of course, but this all ended up so smooth. Guess I am in the right place.
Chavs just don't do it for me. And WAGs annoy me. Give me a punk or a mod anyday.
I still have yet to hit up the pub. Maybe tomorrow?

I kind of like that word indefinitely. It leaves room for so much to happen. And I am excited to see where life takes me.

Community Exegesis

2009-08-16T17:35:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I organised a volunteer day with World Vision. The morning was filled with sorting, moving boxes, packing and unpacking items, organising and in general getting somewhat sweaty and dirty. And we all loved it because it got us out of the office and away from our computers for the day.

The Afternoon was spent in an area of Los Angeles called MacArthur Park, which is located just west of downtown LA. They call it "In the Shadows of the Skyscrapers." This is the area WV chose to get involved in and create an Urban Development Programme. We all headed out here to get a tour of the area, to engage with the community and to become skilled in doing a community exegesis.

Prior to this experience, getting involved in anything with the term exegesis in it returned me to my college theology course, reminding me of spending hours over a specific chapter of the Bible, writing down what specifically happened in each individual verse and what that meant, both to the verse and to the chapter as a whole. I did not really enjoy it. It was tedious, detailed, and did not bring me to some sort of deeper faith.

A Community Exegesis is something that is similar in theory, but very different in how you do it. And I thoroughly enjoyed it. So I would like to spread the knowledge we picked up, so that people can experience communities all over. Due to not wanting to make this blog a novel, I will likely leave the exegesis of MacArther Park to my next post.

The purpose of a community exegesis is to get to know a particular neighbourhood more in depthly. From this exercise you should be able to tell the history of that community, who lived there, who lives there now, and most interestingly where the community is headed.

1) First of all, you cannot do this exercise from a car or from your home. You must be out in and amongst the community - wear good walking shoes.

2) Work on your observation skills. Look very closely at:

- The People: Who lives there? What do they look like? What language do they speak? Where does it appear they are from? Be specific. Noticing that there are a lot of Spanish speakers and then assuming that they all come from Mexico is not good exegeting. And it is stereotyping - Refrain from stereotyping.

- The Buildings: What type are they? Are they all cookie cutter or do they each have their own distinct pieces? How far apart are they? What about from the street? Are there green areas in and around them? If they are apartment buildings, do they have balconies and do those balconies have personalisations or decorations on them?

- The Shops: What type of shops can be found in the community? Are they mostly chain stores? Do they cater to those who have excess or lack of incomes? Do they have an ethnic speciality? Do they offer deals towards one ethnicity over another?

- The Restaurants: Similar questions. What genre of food can be found in that community? Note any types of restaurants that seem out of place (such as a Vietnamese restaurant in a sea of Mexican food). If there are, consider if it is really out of place or just an additional piece to its history? Are there mostly chain restuarants or more mom & pop places? Are there high-end eateries available? What foods and types of foods are readily available to the community? Do they sell food only in sanctioned stores and restaurants or is some available just off the street as well?

- The "Art": Is there graffiti around? What does that graffiti look like? Is it indicative of a gang(s)? Do you see a symbol repetitive enough to be a 'signature'? Or is it graffiti art - a sanctioned mural created by the community? What does this indicate? Note - a community's morals and future are usually heavily depicted in this type of 'street art'.

3) After you have coallated all this information, look at the overwhelming themes. You should have a clear picture of who lives there, as well as their social class, ethnicity, and general age demographic. Finding their history and their future will take a bit more analysis and processing. Enjoy this.

If you have time, talk with some people living in the community. If you do not understand something, ask. Obviously, this is the easiest way to exegete a community. And you will probably meet some really awesome people if you do.

I never wanted to go to India

2009-07-25T17:07:00.000-07:00

I never wanted to go to India. Something about the potent food, massive crowds and uncomfortable experiences with Indian men. So when I found myself bound for Pune, destined to be a bridesmaid in my college roommate’s wedding, my expectations of this Indian experience were low.

For the most part, India exceeded my expectations. Pune is a clean city, by Indian standards, the food was edible, and the men were polite, if they paid us any attention at all.

It also ended up being more stressful than expected. From assisting in the creation of an American wedding in India, to ensuring that friends who had never experienced a non-Western world before were safe and aware, to worrying that a rickshaw driver was actually taking us where we wanted to go, I became overwhelmed rather than excited. By the end of the wedding reception, I was exhausted and ready for a stiff drink…but even that turned out to be more of a hassle than relaxing! At the end of the night I told myself, “I have one day left here, then I can leave this chaotic place.”

On that last day, I had scheduled a tour of World Vision’s Area Development Programme (ADP) in Pune. World Vision works all over India and has about 2,000 sponsored children in the Pune ADP.

We exited our vehicle at the first slum, Ramtekdi, where I found I was apprehensive. As much as I pride myself on being well-travelled and aware, I worried that the Indian slum would break this strong, thick exterior I have cultivated.

As we approached our first stop, we received the obligatory stares from adults and smiles from children. Dada was our first encounter. He is the father of 2 little girls, Sakshi and Samiksha. Sakshi shyly peaked at us from behind Dada’s legs, but Samiksha openly stared. Dada and his wife had known nothing but poverty, having lived in that slum their entire lives. With a small loan, Dada was able to purchase a few old bikes, which he fixed up and started renting out by the hour or day. In essence, he became a small businessman. And his business quickly grew. When we met him, he stored his rentable bikes not only in the passageway between houses, but actually in half of his house! Now he was able to afford food, education, electricity, a TV, and even karate lessons for little Sakshi. When I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, she replied a policewoman. Thanks to her father’s small business, that is now a possibility.

We went to visit Urmila next. She owned a seamstress shop, which she ran out of her house. She purchases scraps of fabric from clothing companies cheaply to make clothing, particularly for children. She also mends clothes for people around the slum. We admired her myriad of beautiful fabrics and watched while she quickly sewed buttons as we talked. She received her first sewing machine from World Vision which she taught herself on, and then started a small business. She now has 4 sewing machines and 8 employees. While talking with our tour guide, we found out about the Community Loan Banks that prevail in Indian slums, which Urmila is a part of.

Women in these slum communities created small loan banks of around 11-12 women. Each small business owner contributes a monthly fee to the bank, which goes into an account that the women can take loans from. The loans are usually for the purpose of an unknown expense, such as a sickness, hospital fee, or travelling to visit family. This is a grassroots loan bank, managed by community volunteers. The rate of default on these loans is virtually non-existent. World Vision donates to community women so that they can take the donation, make money, and help other women and families in the community through this loan program.

Our next visit was to a bangle bracelet shop owner. Ujwala received 5,000 rupees worth of bracelets from World Vision. In Indian culture, new bangle bracelets are purchased at every new milestone in life, particularly at weddings. Her bangle shop was alive and thriving with many different styles and colours. While we were talking with her, we had the opportunity to purchase bangles from her – ten bangles for 100 rupees. As she meshed and moulded our hands to get the tightest fit, we learned from her that she has three children, aged 13, 11 and 10. Because of her bangle sales, she was able to pay for all of their school fees, contribute to her husband’s rickshaw driver salary, and take part in her local community-owned loan bank. It almost brought tears to my eyes when she told us that she was able to help out her mother-in-law by paying for a necessary surgery. Her pride was contagious.
During this conversation we had children and neighbours standing at the door listening and watching us. The sense of community was incandescent. From the community bank to neighbourly interactions, I was sadly reminded of how individualistic the US and much of the West is. We live our lives so separate from each other. The slums in India remind me of how things should be, of how things used to be. It reminded me of how important conversing with people is. It reminded me that no one is an island – everyone matters.

Ujwala was so welcoming and open about her life to us, strangers from across the globe. We also experienced that at our next stop. We travelled to another slum about half and hour away, called Darodema, in a beautiful, tree-filled area of Pune. The hospitality shown by the men and women of the Ramtekdi slum continued here as we saw a World Vision health check up and visited another family.

We happened to visit the programme on their annual health check-up day. At this particular slum, there were about 50 children getting their check-up that day. Each year, a group of doctors from a local hospital volunteer their time to record the statistics on sponsored children for the last year: height, weight, and any changes in the health of the child. The children ranged in age from about 3 years old to 14. All appeared to be healthy and living life to the fullest. As we watched, children would toddle over to the height and weight station where an assistant would take their measurements. They would next head over to chat with a doctor. She would ask the child if they were experiencing any pain or uncomfortability anywhere. Many shook their head no. A young girl pointed to her elbow, and the doctor responded by feeling the area.

After a teenage girl had completed the cycle, she shyly walked over and we asked her questions: “How long had she been in the programme? How many siblings does she have? Is she the oldest? What does she want to be when she grows up?” She wants to be a flight attendant – but the most amazing part is that it is a possibility for her. She does not have to continue the cycle of poverty in the slums of India.
Our final stop was to a woman who made chapatti to sell out of her home. Prior to her engagement with World Vision, she was making the chapatti by hand, which she would sell at the local market. She received a gas-powered mixer which has allowed her to increase her productivity at least ten-fold. She now sells her chapatti to a neighbouring hotel, delivered fresh every morning. Of course this has also increased her income, which has allowed her to contribute more to the community loan bank.

Her family assists in this endeavour as well – mixing, setting up the stove, packaging, delivering. She was so eager to show us how the machine worked! We each got a taste of fresh chapatti – made right before out eyes.

To this day, I reflect with wonder at the hospitality, pride and giving nature of these men and women we met in the slums of India. I still feel guilty – here we were, a group of American women who comparatively have had very easy lives, and we were welcomed into homes, asked personal questions and given food. At the last house we entered, we left with coconuts which the Indians value highly for its many uses.

For being a country that started so low on my “desired-places-to-go” list, India sent me many surprises and life experiences. But what it brought me most was an interaction with some of the most amazing men, women and children. It showed me that people everywhere deserve the opportunity to hope, to provide and to give back to their community. And in many places around the globe, they actually want to.

I never wanted to go to India. But I would go again in a heartbeat.

No Man is an Island

2009-07-24T12:12:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed that life tends to move in themes...and that many times those themes are very relevant to your own life?

Well, lately I have noticed two very interesting traits/characteristics about the Western world. It started out as just one theme but now another trait is becoming apparent - I fear becoming the next "theme" of life. The first one I noticed specifically in the US, the other specifically in developed countries.

I have categorically refused to pay any attention to all the hullabaloo surrounding Michael Jackson's death. I see his photo or his name on a news site and skip right over it without even reading the heading, definitely completely ignoring the article. But of course, since I do not live in a cave, some information has managed to seep in - and this was where I was struck with the "theme" of the last 2 weeks.

Whenever negative things happen, Americans consistently attempt to place blame on anyone else but themselves. It's always someone else's fault, or something got it the way, or they should be sued for wrongful such-and-such. Anything but to take responsibility for the action.

When we learn to drive, we are taught that if you get in an accident never say it is your fault. When I was 12, I was in an accident with my mother where the man ran a red light and hit us. It was a scandle that he got out of the car and took the blame for what was rightfully his fault! Later my dad gave us the lecture about never taking blame when you are in a car accident, saying that what this man did was the wrong response.

In the last 2 weeks, I feel like I have been surrounded by examples of people placing the blame on someone else - Michael Jackson and his doctor, Adam and Eve, stupid lawsuits, divorces over irreconcilable differences. And every time, I am struck by how horrible a trait this is! This is what keeps us from being friendly, helpful, from looking out for our neighbors or even for strangers. Where has the trust gone? Where has goodness gone?

Man Up! Take Responsibility! Admit that you cannot walk straight and that it is your fault that you trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Admit that you gave up on the relationship long before your irreconcilable differences! Stop blaming others!

In many ways, I feel like the other trait that I am starting to notice is just another side of the coin - and is something I struggle with a bit more openly. And this is a combination of pride, egotism, and in general just being full of yourself. Yet again this trait is super unattractive and keeps us from getting to know and trust each other.

I know I tend to be a bit more self-focused, but observing this trait in others has actually made me really hate that part of myself.

John Donne said, "No man is an island." So how do societies become so self-focused, yet not wanting to take responsibility, so individualistic and so mistrusting?

I only hope that these "themes" will come out with a happy ending. That there is some light at the end of the tunnel that shows that humanity is not completely hopeless.

And apologies for this post of jumbled, mostly incoherent thoughts. I have not been able to communicate well as of late.

Top 5...

2009-07-19T15:56:00.000-07:00

It's been floating around for about 6 months now...you know, that "Top 5" application on Facebook. You can rate your top 5 beers, your top 5 things that start with the same letter as your name, your top 5 people you do not want to see standing at the foot of your bed...and on and on.

I usually am not involved in this annoyance, but recently, I came across the Top 5 Countries I want to visit. This got me thinking...what are MY top 5?

As I pondered, I realised there is no WAY I could create a top 5. So I am coming here today to do a stream-of-conscious written list...let's see how many I pick out. And then from there, let's see if it is possible for me to create a Top 5 or 6 or 7 or 10...you get the picture.

Here we go:

DRC
Cuba
New Zealand
Russia
Lebanon
Vietnam
Peru
Ecuador
Morocco
Rwanda
Iran
Pakistan
China, particularly Tibet
Thailand
Romania, specifically Transylvania
Sweden
Italy
Argentina
Costa Rica

Ok, let's stop there. I did that all in about 2 minutes...just went around the globe in my head. And came up with 19. Now comes the narrowing down bit. For which I will have to name reasons.
1) Has to be the Democratic Republic of the Congo. My heart has been there for so long - from the horrible situation of the people, to the plight of the gorillas, to the beauty of the rainforest, to the fact that they speak French there (along with other tribal languages of course) - this country has it all for me. One day.
*Credit to Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Congo_maluku.jpg
2) I think I have to go with China, particularly Tibet. This is because China is not just China, but also includes a number of areas (that may or may not have been their own autonomous countries at one point or another) that I would like to visit. Tibet for the mountains, poverty and religiousity. Hong Kong for the skyline and innovation (not particularly for the polution though). Taiwan to visit our favourite foreign exchange student growing up - and her family. And then of course, there is the Great Wall, Tiananmen Square, and the normal "Chinese" tourist activities, including walking in rice paddies.
3) Morocco. I have heard that the beauty of this desert country is staggering. More pluses include the markets, or souks, the bedouin culture, Arabic language, and the camels. Don't even get me started on the camels!
4) I have to throw a "Western" nation in here, so that has got to be New Zealand...even though it's in the south-eastern hemisphere...lol. The reasons for this are similar to many other countries: beauty between the mountains and sea, laid-back culture, 10 sheep to 1 Kiwi - and even the fact that they are known as Kiwis adds to my reasons, penguins in the south, and its renowned Extreme activities - skydiving being the one I am particularly interested in. I know I will get to this country eventually, even if I have to wait until retirement to do it.
* Photo Recognition goes to: http://blandforddailyphoto.blogspot.com/
5) For the last spot in my top 5, I have to go with Peru. I want to get to South America at one point or another and Peru is the country at the top of that list almost solely for 1 reason: Macchu Pichu. The hike to and from this wonder of the world is glorious (from what I have heard) but what you see at the top is the creme-de-la-creme of history. I want to walk in one of the oldest places of humanity in the western hemisphere. And then of course there are the Alpacas.
Wow. I am impressed I was able to narrow it down. Wish me luck on my quest to visit my top 19, and my top 5 in particular!

Freedom of Movement

2009-07-18T16:40:00.000-07:00

In July 2006, I found myself in Nairobi, Kenya for 3 weeks coordinating and getting feedback on IT training courses. They do not call it "Nairobbery" for no reason, and I found my time here some of the most fascinating that I have ever spent in another country.

About 2 weeks prior to my arrival, one of my best friends - who was living there at the time - had the property that she lived on broken into and all three houses were ransacked..including the home of her 80+-yr old landlady. My friend was not home at the time, but her landlady was. The robbers tied her and her gardener and cook up and placed them under a mattress, where they stayed for 6 hours.

I found this out upon arrival, where I also learned that once 6:30pm hit (about 30min before sunset), every person in the city sequoisterd themselves in whatever property they were on at the time, emerging only in the relative safety of a taxi.

I described my time there as a love-hate relationship with the city. During the daytime, the city was beautiful and eye-opening. During the night, the city was scary and limiting. Many evenings I would end up in my hotel room - working or reading - or at the hotel restaurant getting lectured by the waiter on how and when to say "Asante Sana" instead of "Thank You".

My first day in our office there, I was informed that I needed a security briefing. We were not able to schedule that for a few days. In the meantime, as usual on all trips, I walked around to learn about the city. I walked around the city centre to a large park where I just people watched. My friend and I took a Matatu (small bus-type thing where they squeeze as many as 16 people into a van that we would expect to seat 8 at the most) to a local market. I walked the red roads from the training centre to the office. I learned to become shocked when there was actually a sidewalk available.

At the security briefing, I was trained on how to ride in a taxi (windows up, doors locked), on how far I was allowed to stray from the hotel (only walk to the office and back), and was then lectured on how much I had been walking around, particularly around the city centre. I didn't even mention the Matatu.

Although I now understand the lecture was a good thing to hear (another co-worker was caught in cross-fire in the city centre about 4 months after I had been there), I heard it, took notes, and "lessened" my walking. But the security issues of the city were never far from my mind.

One night, my friend and her co-worker and I decided to go out to dinner at this newer restaurant across the street and down a little from her house. The restaurant opened at 7pm, after our "curfew", so we had to make the decision...Do we walk there and back (less than 300m away) or do we do the smart thing and take a taxi (again...only 300m). We ended up just running that distance as fast as we could. But I was struck with how strange it is - considering how to go from one place to another 300m away.

Another night, I was meeting with some of the "suits" that had organised the training at a restaurant that took me 2 minutes to walk to. Until the end of the meal, I was planning on asking one of the waiters or front men to just walk with me back to the front gates of the hotel. They are so close. I ended up sharing a taxi, because the rest of the group needed one anyway.

I never realised how valuable freedom of movement is until this trip, which is why it was so fascinating. The way that I reacted mentally and physically was very intriguing because it was unexpected. I became depressed a lot easier and quicker. I developed my aforementioned love-hate relationship with Nairobi. In my one night stop-over in Amsterdam on the way back home, I literally walked through the streets until past 11pm with my arms open breathing deeply and saying to myself, "I am doing this just because I can".

And my experience is nothing compared to many around the world: Native Nairobians for whom this life is normal; Palestinians living in the West Bank who are now unable to get to work, to visit family, to go to the hospital because it is on the other side of a great wall.

Nelson Mandela said, "For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."

I knew that going to Nairobi would change my perspective, but I never knew how much. Having my freedom of movement restricted makes me think about the freedoms I am blessed with as a US citizen, and the freedoms that some have taken away from them - or have never had. I want others to feel how I felt in Amsterdam. They are free and they do things just because they can.

Thoughts on American Ironies

2009-07-08T12:49:00.000-07:00

"Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

This quote is engraved at the feet of the Statue of Liberty in New York Harbor, written there with the intent that all those who emigrated through Ellis Island to the US would read this and realise that this land, created by immigrants, would be their new home - a place of freedom.

And in our Declaration of Independence -

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalineable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

I have been reminded in recent days, with our national Independence Day (4th of July) and through conversations and presentations, just how the US was formed and more interestingly, where we are going.

The US was formed in the late 1600s by immigrants, mostly from Western Europe. At that time, we were claimed as a territory - parts by England, parts by France, some by Spain and others. And as we all learn in primary school, these immigrants, fed up by the control of England, staged - and won - the Revolutionary War.

This fact, that the US was created by Revolutionaries, occupied my mind on the 4th of July. Revolutionaries is just an antonym for terrorist. These men that we hold to such honor and respect, in todays terms and in another country, we would call terrorists. What was the "Boston Tea Party"? An act of "terror" against an "oppressive regime".

I love that the US, the instigator of the War on Terror, has forgotten where it came from, its roots, to boldly state that we are against terror. I believe we would even say that we are against revolutionaries now (we did in the 60s at least).

And of course, when I say "love" I mean "I find very ironic"

We have also forgotten our roots of who the US was created by. In a conversation with a colleague yesterday, he mentioned that the population in most Western countries is in decline. People are not procreating enough to sustain their population numbers. So this means that for Western economies to continue growing, we are going to have to bring in a new population to enhance the workforce...Immigrants.

The US view of immigrants is quite mixed. Many (mainly upper-middle class white families) find it appalling that there are undocumented workers here in the US, that they are draining our healthcare system, taking our tax money and not contributing to our society in anyway, except to leech off it. Leeches, I have actually heard them called.

The government continues to talk about our "immigration problem" but has yet to put forward a tangible plan to better our interactions with the immigrant community.

I had conversations with some young students a few weeks ago talking about their experiences. Some of them are undocumented, some have a social security number but their parents do not, all are bilingual. And all have ambitions to change their communities and the way the US government interacts with illegal immigrants. They are pro-active, intelligent and dedicated. Not unlike myself and my friends at that age.

What these "upper-middle class twits" fail to include in their analysis of the immigration "problem" is that most of these individuals have moved here for the American dream that our Statue of Liberty and Declaration of Independence has promised. All they want to do is afford to give their children opportunities that they did not have. Many are also contributing to their own parents and families back in their home country as well. They do not include how these illegal immigrants contribute to our economy by doing jobs that we deem ourselves to worthy to take: picking fruits and vegetables, owning AMAZING Mexican food restaurants, giving us manicures and pedicures.

If our past and our future - and the future of all Western nations - lies in immigrants, shouldn't we give them more respect? and perhaps...just perhaps...more rights? Give our tired, our poor room to breathe free?

Image from: Parklands cobbler on Wikipedia

The Great Cassava Debate

2009-07-07T18:33:00.000-07:00

I was just reading through an old blog of mine from my travels in 2006 and 2007. It's funny reading something that, really is not old, but feels old. I feel like I have matured quite a bit since then...thankfully.

But I something I read made me laugh for a different reason: the Great Cassava Debate. In 2007, I traveled to Dubai with work to attend/participate in meetings. One set of meetings was with just my "line of business", involving only myself, my boss and 2 others. One of the two, Eric, is still on my team today, a Kenyan who lives full time in Dubai.

On one of my last days there, we all went out to lunch and somehow got onto the topic of cassava, a "thing" that is somewhat similar to a potato in both taste and texture. Cassava is a staple carbohydrate for much of Africa. It is also called Yuca in Latin America, which is how I have eaten it here in the US.

I say "thing" because it relates to the conversation. We ended up debating what a Cassava was for the entire lunch. Is it a fruit? Is it a vegetable? Is it other? This debate continues to this day! And two years later, we still debate it regularly - probably about once every 6 months or whenever there is another native African around to support Eric's opinion.

Most of us defined it as a vegetable...including the waiters and waitresses at the restaurant, whom we forced to involve in the discussion. Eric, however, was adamant. Cassava could not be defined as a vegetable! No, it is a tuber...like a potato! And we would retort: but a potato is a vegetable! To which he would respond, No, a potato is a Tuber!

And it just continued...still continues.

I suppose it just shows how stubborn we all are being unable to concede, after 2 YEARS, one way or the other.

But I thought I would take the time to post some interesting facts about Cassava. It is not eaten much in Western nations, unless by families who have emigrated from societies where it is eaten. So we do not know much about it here.

It is grown in tropical and sub-tropical regions of the world.
It is the 3rd largest source of carbohydrates for human food in the world! Africa is the continent that produces (and I believe consumes) the most.
We are somewhat familiar with what its root flour is: tapioca
So for those who enjoy Boba or Bubble Tea (depending on what they call it where you are), you are partaking in the Cassava plant.
They are also a good source of calcium and vitamin C.
Cassava roots and leaves cannot be consumed raw because they contain different kinds of cyanide, which, depending on how much you ingest, can lead to paralysation and/or death by malnutrition.
Societies that are used to eating Cassava, however, are experts at cooking Cassava to remove the toxins, whether through soaking (up to 3 days!), boiling, fermenting and more.

And yet...nothing definitive as to whether you can call it a vegetable or if you must refer to it as a tuber...the debate continues...

Universal Declaration of Human Rights

2009-07-02T11:10:00.000-07:00

I was reminded that this video is one of my favourites today:

and in French:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFmGZy4JXxc

Spanish:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRNybj6cIuM

Farsi:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85EaZIjen68

Palestinian Prayer

2009-07-01T20:52:00.000-07:00

While travelling in Hungary this last May, I met a Lebanese man…well, a Palestinian man whose family lives in Lebanon. I say lives in Lebanon, because they are technically not Lebanese. They have been in Lebanon since 1948 when they ran from Palestine to Lebanon as refugees. Because of Lebanese laws, him and his family are not allowed to get legal jobs, are not even considered “second-class citizens” because they are not legal citizens. After 3 generations, they are still refugees, living in refugee camps.

In some research I completed recently, I found that refugee camps in Lebanon and other countries surrounding Israel and Palestine instead of growing out, or shutting down like most refugee camps, have been growing up, becoming cities of their own. Cities filled with individuals who have increasing health problems, have to work illegally, and have no promise of ever being to go back home. You see, in 1948, their land, which may have been in their family for generations, was handed over to Israelis. Even though they may have the actual keys to a house in Israel, they will never be allowed back in. It is not their home anymore.

But the country they fled to is not their home either. They struggle to provide for their families, to keep their children healthy, to convince themselves they have a future.

This plight has occupied my mind ever since my conversation with this man. Today, at World Vision’s chapel, we had one of our Palestinian colleagues come talk to us about her experience growing up in East Jerusalem. She requested that I be a part of a group of people praying for a piece of this conflict: one prayed for people in the West Bank and Gaza who had their homes and land destroyed, and another prayed as a call to justice. I immediately thought of the Palestinian refugee situation.

Below is my prayer and a link to where you can find more information about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
God, I raise up in prayer to you the millions of people, the families who have been displaced by this situation. The UN has declared this the World’s Longest Refugee Crisis. Father God, many of them have been living in refugee camps for 3 generations or more, without a permanent home, unable to get a legal job, despairing that they are unable to care for their families, feeling like they are forgotten by the rest of the world. I thank you Lord that even though they may be forgotten by us here, they will never be forgotten by you.

Father God, I pray for the governments hosting these refugees: Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan and others. Many of these countries do not know how to adjust with this influx, even after 60 years. As crazy a prayer it may be, God I pray that you will allow these countries to look past ethnic barriers to focus on giving these individuals the rights they deserve.

I also pray for the organisations helping these refugees, that you will give them the courage to advocate on their behalf, the resources to continue and the wisdom to use them wisely.

And God, I pray for the 4.6 million Palestinian refugees. I pray that you will give them hope and strength to continue, to provide for their families, to keep pursuing justice.
AlertNet Crisis Profile:
http://www.alertnet.org/db/crisisprofiles/IP_CON.htm?v=at_a_glance

WV Middle East/Eastern Europe Website:
http://meero.worldvision.org/

genesis

2009-06-30T22:02:00.000-07:00

a couple of weekends ago, i attended la fete de la musique. This day, celebrated on the summer solstice, is a day filled with music. i was lucky enough to live in a city that celebrated this occasion by hosting concerts in venues throughout their old town.

so, armed with my plastic bottle filled with diet coke and malibu rum, i walked (gotta stay safe!) down to our old town to enjoy some music. Being the person i am, i of course researched the acts prior to my attendance, and i went with the intention of seeing 2 or 3 different individuals/bands.

at the end of the day, i realised something. i had spent the last 6 hours traversing from culture to culture to culture. From the French singer/songwriter, to the Caribbean Blues artist, to the indie rock female-fronted band, and back to the chicano rock act - all while reading a socio-anthropological study of the English, i had enjoyed a myriad of different cultures. And the interesting part was that i felt like a piece of me fit with each one of them.

i feel like not many people in this world are what I call "culturally ambiguous". When i use this term i mean someone who floats easily from culture to culture and does not feel out of place, or more specifically, does not look it.

i took a mexican american friend to a British pub a few weeks prior to this day, and later laughed at how out of place he looked and how awkward he acted. cultural ambiguity is an interesting concept.

i have had the opportunity to visit Europe, Asia, Africa, the Middle East, and of course have grown up in North America with its chicano (mexican american) sub-culture. of course i am not fluent in any of these cultures...not even the American one, but in each location, i fell in love with bits and pieces of it.

i am dedicating this blog to my intriguing interactions with different cultures on my quest to continue becoming more culturally ambiguous.